Topics

76

Non-Music Shit / VULGARITY LAWS RUN-DOWN????!!

« on: July 09, 2009, 07:53:31 AM »

Dudes.  I really need your help.  Seems like every time I have a decent idea SOMEONE in my inner sanctum of helpers and hoodlums claims the fucking thing is either going to piss everyone in the world off or be flat out illegal.  Now, I wish I was as smart as Larry Flint or Flynt or however you spell it, but I can't seem to figure out WHERE THE EDGE OF TH FUCKIN ENVELOPE IS so I can push it without getting "in jail" or "fined".  I know that sounds gay as hell, and I probably will just do what I do anyways, but hey, this is useful shit to know. 

What the fuck are the "public obscenity" laws and stuff?  You'd be surprised how little god damn information google actually gets you.  Maybe one or two of you twat bags has some first hand knowledge?  GIVE IT UP! 

I want to be not illegal for Christmas.  Im sick of people telling me "you will get a fine" or "thats illegal" or "im gay".

77

Non-Music Shit / Jackson Funeral: GOLDEN OP MISSED?

« on: July 08, 2009, 01:20:15 PM »

I heard the Jacksons couldn't decide on the funeral arrangements...and I hope they didn't bury him yet because they may be missing out on some serious hype opportunities.

There's still time to do something else for the fans.  To alert the media.  How about an arena....stage lined with smoke machines...and suddenly a hazy, back-lit silhouette appears.  Then crown roars as tension of this tribute escalates into the massive-10-billion-trillion-giga-watt arena PA system blasting "CUZ THIS IS THRILLEERRRRR!!!!...." loud as fuck.  Right at that moment the light shines hard directly onto a blue corpse atop red leather jacket.  And you can really distinguish the blue hue because it's on a white background.  "It's close to miiiiiidnight" as the decomposing corpse zips strapped upright in a robotic dolly rolling in highly choreographed moves.   The herky jerky cart wobbling around the stage as Jacko tries to keep up.  His jaw drops at the moves he's doing nowadays.  Tito excitedly dances just offstage and the screaming crowd can see him as the "background wobbley guy" silhouette.  It's official.  MJ is back.  Suddenly the "bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvv... .bbrrvvvvv....brrrrrrrrv ..." of the electric dolly moving the body across the stage gives way to a smooth "bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvv" as he moonwalks.  At the end of the comeback event, he takes no questions from the media, and the  tour continues.   

78

New Releases For Sale/Distro Updates / NEW ON TTT: BARE WIRES Artificial Clouds LP w/ VHS

« on: July 05, 2009, 04:08:42 PM »

Hey all! The debut Bare Wires LP is out! These ship in 1 week but they're up now due to ltd. ed. vinyl/VHS stuff for those that want em.

TTT-025 - BARE WIRES Artificial Clouds LP + VHS



After a couple solid singles on SSLD and Milk n Herpes, Bare Wires release their debut LP, "Artificial Clouds" on Tic Tac Totally.  Oakland?s Bare Wires are just three talented hooligans revisiting pre-punk sounds from a post-post-post-punk world. And preferring the primitive RNR lexicon largely as is. From this stance, Melton, Keelan and Emslie (Time Flys) plow ahead with twelve tracks of sleazy, sizzlin, mid-fi 70?s rock. Swappin any potentially wandering, bullshit baggage out for a few sharpened punk angles.  Mastered by Jay Reatard, and I said that to deliberately say "mastered by Jay Reatard".  Why?  Because it was mastered by Jay Reatard.  Who is Jay Reatard?  He mastered this album, that's who Jay Reatard is.

Here is the advertisement from Vanity Fair magazine:



Yes, we are offering a TTT-exclusive, ltd. WHITE VINYL LP that comes with a FUCKIN VHS!  This edition is limited to 300 copies and then kaput forever n ever.  Black vinyl edition will stay in print.  It will come with an empty space where a VHS used to be.

And look out for Bare Wires tour dates this fall too!

www.tictactotally.com to order. 

79

New Releases For Sale/Distro Updates / BUZZER Teacher's Pet 7-INCH

« on: June 19, 2009, 08:29:18 AM »

TTT-024 - BUZZER - Teacher's Pet b/w Stunning Freak



500 pressed.  good record.  up now.  fuck weirdos.  listen to this.

song up too at www.tictactotally.com

80

Music Shit / SO COW REVIEW / TTT IS NOW OFFICIALLY LEGIT

« on: June 15, 2009, 02:25:56 PM »

hey guys.  i just wanted to call to say i will be leaving for japan in my air force one lexus plane to live with steve because TTT is no making millions of dollars thanks to this authorizingly authoritative breakthrough performance award.

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/13167-so-cow/

i might not be able to come on here any more because i will be busy counting money.

81

Used Records For Sale/Auctions/Wantlists / X-Iles - Dreamin No 7" wanted

« on: May 31, 2009, 09:43:54 AM »

Hey there.  If anybody has one (X-Iles "Dreamin No" 7") or knows where I can score it...or how much it would even go for I'd be really appreciative.  I don't collect rare or old records so i don't know what the fuck Im doing trying to get this.  I just like this record a lot.  Been wanting this for a long time but never really chased it, might as well start.  Please PM any leads or episodes of history detectives that cover it.  And thanks.

82

Non-Music Shit / the Gregs

« on: May 20, 2009, 06:16:59 PM »

Ok, some magnet in my mind broke an electron beam and this came up.  Not only is Greg a pretty uncommon first name (well at least its not David or John, you have to concede that much at least), but why oh why are there so many amazing and influential "Greg _ _ _ _'s" (four letter word) is completely beyond me.

GREG SHAW
GREG GINN
GREG SAGE

any others?  please continue this weird thing.

83

New Releases For Sale/Distro Updates / TTT NEW SHIT: TEST PATTERNS "Blackout" 12-INCH

« on: May 07, 2009, 04:52:28 PM »

RICOLA MOTHAFCKA!  Put down the pipe!

TTT-021-1 TEST PATTERNS "BLACKOUT" 12-INCH



Rapid-fire power-pop-punk from Pittsburgh fusing Rip-Off-era sounds, late 70's punk and hardcore with some bubblegum goop to stick it on your brain. Think early Registrators, Teengenerate, Raspberries, Nerves, Big Star, Teenage Head, Nikki and the Corvettes etc. People who can write songs, and play em too. Dan (Radiobeats, Rot Shit) and Yago (Gito Gito Hustler) split male/female vocals while servin up dual guitar layers adding up to more sharp little candy fragments than this lollipop I busted on your head. Solid bass & drums tie it all up in a focused, aggressive sound under the pop coat.  Comes with insert and fancy shmancy poster.

CD version coming soon + will include both 7"s (on Contaminated / Shit Sandwich) on it also as bonus tracks.  So that will sorta be like "an album". 

www.tictactotally.com to order.  you can jam the cutz w/ the music thingy on there too.

distros get in touch pleeez. 

ALSO PRITTY NEWWWWWW IS THESE:

CHARLIE & THE MOONHEARTS "Drop In, Drop Out" 7"
LENGUAS LARGAS "I Feel" 7"
SO COW "So Cow" LP
STATIC STATIC "Psychic Eyes" LP

piece frankentube.

84

New Releases For Sale/Distro Updates / NEW LENGUAS LARGAS / CHARLIE & THE MOONHEARTS on TTT

« on: April 30, 2009, 10:13:57 AM »

These are here.  These are shipping.  All mailorders are shipped or shipping today if recent.  I took off work today again to ship these ASAP.  Here is the info.  Sample tracks at www.tictactotally.com

TTT-023 LENGUAS LARGAS - I FEEL - 7"



Debut 45 from Lenguas Largas.  Through the bleak haze of herbal therapies, alcohol, and obsession with darkness comes three homemade alchemical solutions. This great new post-punk debut shakes around everything in the kitchen sink to gather it's friction and to warm these cold, dark tunes up for human consumption.  500 pressed.

TTT-022 CHARLIE & THE MOONHEARTS - DROP IN DROP OUT - 7"



Get some. 3 new songs, and in my opinion the best EP to date. But I'm just a record label shmoozer asshole right? Get it you won't regret it unless you like Yani or that dude that plays pianos. You know him. He was on Oprah. Eating salad. With tomatoes. Get this record.

www.tictactotally.com

ALSO: CHARLIE & THE MOONHEARTS / TEEN ANGER 12" IN STOCK TODAY.  PLEXI 3 "TIDES OF CHANGE" LP on BACHELOR IN STOCK ALSO.   THE TTT TEST PATTERNS "BLACKOUT" LP/CD WILL BE RELEASED NEXT, ABOUT 10-14 DAYS FROM NOW.

85

New Releases For Sale/Distro Updates / SO COW LP / STATIC STATIC LP / LOVER! AT TTT

« on: March 26, 2009, 08:23:32 AM »

Available now.  No pre-ordering necessary! 

TTT-019-1 SO COW - SO COW - LP



I finally hold in my stupid hands...an LP! Here's 18 choice numbers from Tuam's beloved songsmith and overall pop genius Brian Kelly. This LP includes selected tracks from his self-released CDs, the two singles, plus a dash of new material making it the fucking greatest LP ever made. Hahaha. All of this was remastered from the original recordings by Mr. Bob Weston (the archival genius that brought ya that J.T. IV LP) and his slightly less expensive accomplice Carl Saff.   So no expense nor headache was spared to bring you the finest in So Cow tunery just in time for his world fucking tour.  Brace yourself American buttheads.  For those who do not know So Cow, get this!  For those who know So Cow, I know you will already!  For people looking forward to the Homosexuals LP...this will do for now!  We finally trapped the goods in a good proper LP.  Should I keep writing about it?  No!!  Fuck this description! 


TTT-020-1 STATIC STATIC - PSYCHIC EYES - LP



Official release of the Psychic Eyes LP in case ya weren't able to get one of the 200 hand-screened tour copies last year. 
Static Static combine live and electronic instruments and percussion in a way that produces a serious sounding, sharpened state of bright and hynotic electronic fuzz punk.  Citing influences like Devo, Chrome, Electric Eels, Suicide you can gather an image pretty quickly. You probably know the deal by now with their string of EPs on 4:2:2, Hozac and more.  Definitely a must have rocker with a reserved and serious no bullshit sound that shirks all the speculative bullshit for a straight ahead approach with no time for anything but good fucking songs.

"Taking equal parts of VOLT and Spider and molding it into a whole
new spectrum of sonance, Static Static have remained in the shadows long enough, and it's time Los Angeles realized what a great resource they have lurking around in it's dark corners." - Todd Killings VoT 
(yes I copied a review in there.  Yes I feel dumb about it too.)


TTT-017 LOVER! - I'M NOT A GNOME - 7"



Repress of 400 copies here and shipping with the new LPs.  So if you missed this great 3 songer by Rich Crook and co., grab it while it's in. 

www.tictactotally.com

you can listen to some shit on there too before you buy the record.

DISTROS, SHOPS, MAILORDERS, FANCY PANTSES EMAIL ME: ORDER AT TICTACTOTALLY DOT COM

86

Non-Music Shit / legal zoom for assholes

« on: March 25, 2009, 07:14:37 AM »

I am a total fucker.  But I dont want to get in trouble and not be allowed to be a total fucker either.  Ever get curious?  List questions and answers please.  Solve my woes legal zoom wont touch and a lawyer is too gay or expensive to answer. 

1. I want to know if its illegal to train a dog to shoot someone.

2. I want to know if it is illegal to incite the inciting of a riot.

87

Used Records For Sale/Auctions/Wantlists / ROSETTA STONE CD-R???

« on: March 23, 2009, 10:03:10 AM »

Can anybody burn me the French Rosetta Stone CDs?  I really want to read the Born Bad booklets.  Im serious as a fuckin French lesson. 

88

Used Records For Sale/Auctions/Wantlists / meercaz 7" on point wrex

« on: March 07, 2009, 05:23:52 PM »

please help me out.  i truly "want" very few things.  this is one of them!!  well, that and a tape of the leaders stuff (kyle?) someone from meth teeth is putting out.  does anybody here know about that in detail yet?  i dont want to miss it i really like leaders + meercaz.  will trade, do laundry, sell human rights.

89

Used Records For Sale/Auctions/Wantlists / WANT: more black orphan

« on: March 04, 2009, 08:11:58 PM »

please

90

Non-Music Shit / the smellllllll

« on: February 26, 2009, 09:37:54 AM »

is there any bad smells you like?  like gasoline, or farts or feet?  some bad smells smell kinda sweet.  i love skunk.  i dont know why.  i remember i had that he-man dude skunkor maybe thats part of it?  he was scratch n sniff too.  but i love the smell of skunk.  im sure it would be too much if i got sprayed, but when i drive and smell it its awesome.  it makes me feel all happy and shit. 

i wonder if i still have that he-man guy skunkor.  i stole him from a halloween party where the mom was too into it and blindolfed us and made us kids feel bowls of grapes and told us they were eyeballs.  that fuckin bitch was retarded.  it was grapes.  i took skunkor.