I talk about music when I have something to say about it. But my musical interest/knowledge is pretty spotty. I like some random-ass and obscure stuff (hence my reason for joining this forum) as well as, honestly, a lot of music that by all accounts just straight up sucks. But I like it anyway. I know it sucks. I am well aware of why it is corny, and hardly give a shit that this is the case.
Also, I don't have a canonical knowledge of any genre, let alone several or many. & I grew up in an area & time that is well known for its strong and substantial quantity of women musicians, so never felt to me like there was anything lacking on that front. In certain scenes it was a dude ranch, but we women were all there, producing, creating, discussing, collecting, too.
I've found that when I meet someone (usually a guy, since I haven't had quite the same dynamic with other women, though I'm sure it could happen) with substantial musical overlap on a certain side of things, he just talks right over me and starts barraging me with facts or griling me. I like to have conversations with people without feeling like they are relentlessly schooling me on arcane minutiae, or condescending. Especially when they clearly think they are imparting great knowledge to clueless little old me, and it is stuff I already know.
I recently broke up with this total amazing music nerd because all he ever discussed was obscure music. He was really smart and talented, but a monomaniac. Which is fine. I like some of it. I do not obsess over it. But after a couple months, it was clear that there wasn't much else to say than the details of who was in what band, when, and what other bands came of it, and who they are friends with... I actually find it endearing in its own way, but not in a long term romantic partner. The thought of going to shows to meet more of those dudes is just... oh dear, no thanks, that's all backasswards!
Then, personally, I would rather just play, listen to (and sometimes go see) music than discuss it. I don't have much need to discuss music extensively, most of the time. if it comes up, that's cool, but you gotta have more to say.
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