A few years back I had Norwalk which is a strain of norovirus. I didn't know it at the time but when you have norovirus you can't keep anything down. I kept on drinking water which I though would make me bettere but I would just end up puking it out. I was vomitting so much that I couldn't make it to the toilet and had a bunch of plastic bags by my bed. At one point I was lying in bed and shat myself while puking into a plastic bag. I believe this is know as a "doublay".
I had a similar sort of food poisioning a couple months ago in Morrocco. Me and my friend were staying at a cheap hotel in Casablanca where all the rooms share a toilet. While letting loose some explosive diahhrea it made me have to thow up... I tried to spin around to get the puke in the toilet but ended up getting vomit all over my boxers, my legs and the toilet stall. It was like three in the morning so I had to run back to my room with vomit all over me in hopes that no-one would notice.
I have a friend who works at a hospital, and he dubbed the simultaneous puking/shitting combo "the rooster". HA! Morocco did a number on my insides as well. A bandmate of mine has/had some totally crazy friend that he's always telling stories about. This one's called "the shitty bitch story".
So apparently this guy's out of town partying and meets this chick and they're drinking and doing god knows what drugs and hanging out dancing and shit and he ends up going home with her where (presumably) they fool around before passing out. He wakes up before her, smells something, looks around, and pretty quickly comes to the conclusion that he shit the bed in his drunken stupor. I don't know what most people would have done in this situation, but this guy quietly crept out of bed and into the shower and removed all evidence from his body. He got out and put his clothes on, SCOOPED UP A CHUNK OF SHIT ON HIS FINGER AND WIPED IT ON THE GIRL'S ASS, washed his hands and split, after leaving a note next to the bed that said, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU SHITTY BITCH".
Another time a bunch of "the guys" went out drinking, and apparently this guy had a pretty good head start. After one (of many) trips to the bathroom, dude emerged with a noticeable wet spot on his crotch. His friends kept asking what it was and telling him to check it out and he kept saying, "It's not piss! Leave me alone, it's not piss!" This went on for about an hour, when finally he said, "Alright, fuck it, it's piss! But it's not mine!"