One of them may be reading this, I don't really care at this point. He is the kind of person who actively tries to get his (black, of course) jeans to be as tight as possible. He leads an ironic lifestyle, which I think is all I need to say about that. Oh, and once said, "Keeping up with music is so hard. [Note: he only downloads mp3s.] It must be so much easier for you, since you only listen to one kind of music."
!!?
Um, actually I'm not ashamed to admit that's me. So what? Yeah I wear tight pants. Yeah I listen to mp3s. I remember anytime I would buy a record, it would somehow mysteriously find its way onto your record player. I never made a big fuss. However if one of your precious LPs was ever out of meticulous alphabetical order you'd have a fit for days.
Never bought toilet paper? You're right, but you neglect to mention we'd steal it all the time from the cafe down the street, which never seemed to bug you before. Never doing dishes? I bought all those paper plates just for that reason, which you would use up ALL the time! I never once complained. If you're not going to chip in for plates it's only fair you wash a dish every now and then, especially since I did most of the cooking, and you guys practically lived off of my leftovers.
As for your birthday, we didn't invite people over because you were always such a bitch to our friends. You didn't like them, and you sure as hell didn't want them there until it seemed like no one was going to come to your dumb party. The whole thing was your affair from the get-go, and you practically begged me to stay even though I had other plans that evening. I didn't help you throw the party, so yeah I wasn't going to help you clean up afterwards, especially when you promised us a week before that you were "handling everything."
A few things I didn't appreciate: Coming home and finding complete strangers sleeping in my bed. You borrowing my stuff without ever asking, including the clothes you're now making fun of me for wearing. The passive aggressive notes you used to post up all over the place. The whole thing with Melinda, (I don't care if she's reading this) which I don't feel like going into right now. And last but not least, you taking off a mere two days before the lease was up and then deciding you weren't going to pay your share of the rent for the last month. Then you had the nerve to ask for your security deposit back. You're too fucking much.