141
« on: March 10, 2011, 04:44:26 AM »
So this shit is going on two years now. I met Toby in San Diego right when he moved here. I lived two blocks from him, I worked another two blocks from him. He tried playing drums for Spirit Photography (and he was awful), and I saw him worm his way into every other aspect that he could of music in town. There's a lot more I can say, and I'd rather do it later, but for now, I'll say this: Yes, Rick. There's plenty of stuff in Toby's past that stays with him--addiction, bad childhood, etc. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt even after friends of mine from other cities who knew him closely and dealt with him closely warned me against him. I saw somebody hurt and trying to do good, and even as people began turning their backs on him, I tried my best to get him through this stuff. I took a lot, but eventually I really learned that he's a life-long pathological liar, an opportunistic in the biggest sense. He plays this goth card now because it makes sense, this woe-is-me aspect. And sure, if you've struggled, you want to make something of yourself. But Toby has no qualms about who he fucks. This is miles beyond a record that kinda-sorta came out, whatever. For me, this is about a person who looks to exploit whomever he can, be it people in bands that he can latch on to, customers for labels that consistently rip people off, girls who are willing to deal with his shit and go along for his goth-as-fuck, fucked-up ride, who don't know better than to devote themselves to a person who treats them like shit. Toby is smart in his way; he knows music in a certain sense, he knows how to copy shit (he used to show up to barbecues I'd take him to and he'd blast Christian Death on his Ipod...I'd make fun of him, and he didn't get it)...he's sort of his own fucked-up genius in terms of how well he's been able to pull the wool over the eyes of others (myself included), but in the end, he's an exploitative piece of shit in the worst sense. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. And yes, he's trapped in his own mind, but it's awful. It's an awful place to be...he used to gloat to me about how much he could get away with, about the shit he was buying with the money for records that people weren't getting. Eventually he stopped looking me in the eye as well. He'd come around and have his girlfriend buddy up to me...it was terrible. It was terrible to see her try and deal with. It was terrible to run into him and try and be nice and have him tell some fucked up, totally fake story, and see her call him out on it. I started Volar a tiny bit after he started his label, and the entire time, all I could think was that he was a perfect example of how not to do things, not just on a business level, but moreso on a personal level. Toby is fucked up, yes. I know he's had a hard past, yes. But for me, that doesn't excuse the complete lack of connection to other people beyond how he can use them. And Rick, this is where I feel bad. You're fucking amazing with your support. I talk about you to people all the time. But honestly, in my eyes, and in his eyes even moreso, you're another person that Toby can exploit. Whatever dream he holds onto, he'll use anyone he can, he's that fucked up and and inside his own head. Sorry, this became a long rant. Rick, none of this is anything against you by any means. I just think that he's obviously made a more than clear example of how not to do things, not just in a business sense, but in a personal sense, and I think that's a big part of what people on this board have been holding on to. I hope the show goes well for your own sake, I really don't predict anything violent. I just don't want to see you get exploited as well.