...

[grandmaster satch and the bi-curious five]

So tonight, Rapid Adapter played... it was one of those shows. If you're in a band, you know what I mean.

To comfort myself, I re-read that article about the classical violinist playing in the subway station: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

What's the point?  Fuck everyone; that's the point.......

a couple weeks ago i saw a local band (not gonna name names, because i don't fucking remember their name) that thought taking out their frustrations on the few of us who actually did attend was the way to go.  bass player didn't even bother to get on stage.  he spent the whole evening sitting with his legs propped up next to the sound station.  the singer between song bantered us to death for not being a larger and more comely crowd.  last straw was when the drummer started knocking back the tempos a beat or two, so as to fill their alloted time with fewer songs.  long story short, i saw the exit getting more usage than the restroom.  we, along with most everybody else, got thee gone well before set's end.  fuck a prima donna!

[bradx]

Ouuu, harsh jpegs from the guy that plays out what, once every six months or so?  A guy so hard up for bandmates he had to start a band with his wife. 

Naw, despite Officer Brad's hiding behind his increasingly one dimensional online persona, I think he knows exactly what I'm talking about.  It probably informs the great deal of his actions.  It's what makes Officer Brad, Officer Brad.

Its unfortunite that he feels he can't admit to that type of thing in public.  It's okay Officer Brad, there's a Tyvek song about it and everything.  You don't have to drown all those feelings in Classic Ice.

actually i have no idea what you were talking about.  nobody came to see you? 

personally, ive always been suspicious of the audience/performer dynamic.  for instance, i can see why someone would like to be in a band like kiss, but i dont understand why someone would like to watch them.  i dont know what it is people get from group events, but it doesnt happen for me. 

likewise, its the same thing on a small scale for performing myself.  if i could be in a big band where all my shit was loaded up for me and everything, where we could play all the time it might be fun for awhile.  however, the net benefits of playing small gigs seem nonexistent.  what is the point?

perhaps for someone needing an ego boost a basement show may provide some small benefit, but i still dont see the purpose of doing so more than twice a year.  ive had numerous bands, sometimes at the same time, playing all the time and i didnt like it.  too much like work, but without pay. 

get home from work.  carry the drums up the stairs and load them into the car.  drive halfway across the state.  unload the drums from the car, carry them into the venue.  set up, play for 20 jackasses who i dont like or care about at all, tear down.  make no money, or just enough for gas.  carry the drums back to the car and load them up, drive halfway back across the state.  unload the drums from the car, carry them back downstairs, and set them up again. 

that is not my idea of fun.  even doing all that work to play for 20 jackasses who i do like and care about isnt my idea of fun. 

a few years back i was in a cover band, the singer was hosting an open mic night and i was bored so i stopped down.  the place has decent food but i didnt have alot of money, so i got a burger and a beer and settled in.  finally they convinced me to hit the stage, and with a bass player and drummer i never jammed with before i of course tore the place up. 

after a couple songs, each with more applause than the last, and an appreciative audience lapping it all up, i put my jacket on and got ready to leave.  as soon as i got off stage i was surrounded by two rivers drunks offering their praise and begging for another song.  i had to inform them that it was almost time for south park to come on, and it was a brand new episode.

a couple of people were really pissed off.  "south park?  youre going to leave us wanting more so you can go home and watch a cartoon?"  well yes, because the entertainment value of a new south park is greater than any sense of satisfaction i derive from playing live music.  i already know i can walk onstage in any redneck tavern and entertain a bunch of idiots endlessly.  it doesnt do anything for me anymore.  they shouldve been thankful i felt like playing and singing at all. 

so, when i do choose to play every six months or so, i do it playing the music i want to play, for myself only.  if i wanted to entertain people i'd be playing blues music or stones covers or something, not "i shit my pants".  bands that take it to the next level like jack the tripper and play all the time, release cd's, etc, for the same 20 people over and over, i dont get it.  probably theyre trying to fight boredom, but to me, boredom is preferable to work for no gain. 

[vint]

Everyone plays shows to no one. I played a show to literally four people (two of them were the other band, plus the sound guy and bartender) people shortly before moving from Columbus. I knew there would be nobody there, but I had no money for beer.

Anyway, what I always found much more intense and exciting than nobody at a show, which doesn't really register with me emotionally much one way or another was the shows where you get people turning you equipment off in the middle of your songs, trying to grab you and drag you off the stage or just joining in on a chorus of "worst band ever!" I kinda miss those type of shows sometimes. I'm not really on the right kinda drugs to appreciate them anymore, but man, those were some fuckin' shows!

[bradx]

i would totally play hermitfest. i would put together a band just for the occasion.  if nobody watched us i would figger its their loss, because what can i do if theyre too plebian to recognize genius? 

great article BTW.

also, i think i could talk mark b into making a wisconsin hermit-fest appearance. 
http://terminal-boredom.com/forums/index.php?topic=11308.0

[Dutchman]

Never. Play. Local. Shows.  Or at least not during the AFC Championship Game.  I'm sick of everyone and everyone's sick of us so I'm gonna see if we can get it down to three local shows in '09, then go for two next year--you gotta have goals!

-Ryan

[Vince Clortho Keymaster of Gozac]

Ya know, all bands that rarely even play shows, much less tour.

There might be a problem though, too much crossover with the  bedroom, myspace projects.  That and the fact that most likely, the bands would not be so tight, musically.

[Stephanie]

clint, why are you the only who crys over this shit? it's the same thing like every six months or so. i was at that show and there seemed (to me) a good amount of people there for a sunday night...not to mention a game....what gives? seriously?

i think it's really, really respectable that you go to a lot of shows and make a conscious effort to support all the shows (or as many as you can), but you have to understand that not everyone can..not everyone cares! not everyone can afford to! blahblahblah, whatever the case may be, it doesn't matter, but you have to quit crying about this shit because you sound like a total fucking ass.

[Scrod Prickknee]

Whoah! That's as close to mean as I've ever seen Steph! You'd better back off this shit, buddy!

[goneoffdatlean]

For serious, this kills me.  We have all played in bands in which no one cared.  I've been in bands since I was 16 and the most well attended show any band of mine ever played was maybe 50 people max.  Plenty of shows where the only viewers were the other bands on the bill. 

Who cares?  What do you expect, lines around the corner and MTV vans outside.  You play in a obscuro punk band that plays Plastic Idols cover.  If you want more people at your show, then play music that more than a small handful of people actually like.  Stop playing punk, play something like the Killers or System of a Down.  I dunno.

What's yer major malfunction, man?  Geez.

[Swampy]

Yeah, I thought this was called paying your dues!  As a veteran of a much-maligned band that's been playing out for 12 years or so, I can safely say that about 75% (probably more) of our shows have been ill-attended affairs.  I just think it makes you stronger and less affected by scene-pressures and social-butterflying.  If you can't handle this shit, don't be in a band.  It's okay to bitch about poor treatment every once in awhile, but keep it within reason... Sheeesh!

[frankie teardrop]

 Waavvess  has risen the bar. You aren't worth anything if you haven't booked an international tour before your first show, or gotten on a major news network, or signed a publicist, or signed a booking agent, or have the ability to instantaneously sell out records (even from small, obscure distros), or have a massive fan following.

I'm in a bad enough mood today. So, if Waavveezzys gravvezysz ever bothers coming to chicago I'm smashing all of his equipment and peeing on his face. Then, i'm fucking his girlfriend and leaving her in an alley.

[gabriel]

sob-punk

[Vince Clortho Keymaster of Gozac]

Hey Clint...my friend saw Ace Frehley play solo in a bar in upstate New York in the early 90s to about 26 people. Also he had his own DIY Ace Frehley t-shirts for sale...just so ya know.

[sarim]

the entertainment value of a new south park is greater than any sense of satisfaction i derive from playing live music. 

if i wanted to entertain people i'd be playing blues music or stones covers or something, not "i shit my pants". 

what can i do if theyre too plebian to recognize genius? 

[sarim]

the first time vcr played the city we opened for dc snipers at union pool and to my young eyes the whole thing resembled the dance scene from back to the future.  i was also surprised at how nice mike was.  some of the best shows i ever played were when nobody was there or when people pulled us off stage.  such as the time we played at a strip club called cannonballs that was the converted first floor of some crackheaded willie nelson dudes house in western jersey and only rednecks and a shitty pimp were there. the only time i have seen naked males and females while playin drums.

"what the fuck did you do?!"

"NEVER AGAIN!!!"