I checked the TermBo annals, and it's only been told once (sorry n.f.a.)...
* * *
I was working at a delivery/takeout-only pizza place when I was a teenager. It was in a pedestrian-devoid industrial park in Fairfield, CA.
Mac Dre and his Romper Room Gang buddies busted into the joint tryin' to be all Mission Impossible-style. They took some kinda Garden Claw-like tool and tied to the end of a rope, and they went in through a skylight. Our prep area had a drop ceiling below the skylight with a grate that let the light in. They fell through the grate, and according to my friend who saw the whole thing happen, he said it looked pretty funny because they were dressed head-to-toe in black with ski masks, and they landed on the floor where a buncha flour had been spilled. He said they landed in a clump together and looked like keystone cops...hardly the smooth criminals they portrayed themselves to be on their records.
I didn't see it because I was working the ovens during a Monday Night Football dinner rush, and organizing deliveries. But I did hear the klanging of the grate. Then a few seconds later, Mac Dre and co. ordered us outta the kitchen and into the refrigerator. The pin to lock the fridge was busted, and we had been using a screwdriver as a pin. Fortunately, the screwdriver was already removed for some reason, and they never figured out how to shut us in. They just threatened to shoot us if we came out.
Our manager was getting stoned in the office behind a locked door. My friend was the one ordered to open the till and fork over the money. We'd made a few drops already, so there was only about $250 there, I think.
Later, taking a page from Too Short's book, Mac Dre recorded cassette albums and sold them outta the trunk of his car at parking lots. He and his boy rapped about their crime-spree wherein they identified heists of pizza places, and this was entered as evidence against him, and thus he recorded his first proper album over the phone from behind prison bars.
I told this story to a kid wearing a Mac Dre shirt. His dad was all proud of his kid wearing this shirt, but his mom was saying "YOU SEE?! YOU SEE?! I told you that is no role model for our son!"
Home
Help
Search
Login
Register
Print
