Social interactions that don't involve alcohol?

[Erin S]

Using dirty needles = bad. Everyone knows that.

In Kevin's defense there are about a million ways to get yourself infected with godawful bullshit - this little old lady I work with happened to contract MRSA on her skin from somewhere (probably the hospital) and know she has a gaping pressure ulcer on her coccyx. When I pack it, I can stick my first into it. Not to be graphic, but yeah. Just last night I was trying to start an IV on a dehydrated elderly woman with shit veins, and as soon as I stuck the needle in, I felt the vein blow. This happened twice before I gave up and got a more experienced nurse to try. After two tries, he FINALLY got it. Worked with tons of MRSA/VRE/C-diff patients, and I've never gotten any of those diseases... Use common sense, wash yer hands once in a while and follow standard precautions. Assume everyone is infected with something. They probably are.

[Asshole Face]

Assume everyone is infected with something. They probably are.

Real talk

[tango fistula]

Using dirty needles = bad. Everyone knows that.

In Kevin's defense there are about a million ways to get yourself infected with godawful bullshit - this little old lady I work with happened to contract MRSA on her skin from somewhere (probably the hospital) and know she has a gaping pressure ulcer on her coccyx. When I pack it, I can stick my first into it. Not to be graphic, but yeah. Just last night I was trying to start an IV on a dehydrated elderly woman with shit veins, and as soon as I stuck the needle in, I felt the vein blow. This happened twice before I gave up and got a more experienced nurse to try. After two tries, he FINALLY got it. Worked with tons of MRSA/VRE/C-diff patients, and I've never gotten any of those diseases... Use common sense, wash yer hands once in a while and follow standard precautions. Assume everyone is infected with something. They probably are.

Us hospital workers cannot be killed by mere disease at this point...our immune systems are unbreakable

[Erin S]

Using dirty needles = bad. Everyone knows that.

In Kevin's defense there are about a million ways to get yourself infected with godawful bullshit - this little old lady I work with happened to contract MRSA on her skin from somewhere (probably the hospital) and know she has a gaping pressure ulcer on her coccyx. When I pack it, I can stick my first into it. Not to be graphic, but yeah. Just last night I was trying to start an IV on a dehydrated elderly woman with shit veins, and as soon as I stuck the needle in, I felt the vein blow. This happened twice before I gave up and got a more experienced nurse to try. After two tries, he FINALLY got it. Worked with tons of MRSA/VRE/C-diff patients, and I've never gotten any of those diseases... Use common sense, wash yer hands once in a while and follow standard precautions. Assume everyone is infected with something. They probably are.

Us hospital workers cannot be killed by mere disease at this point...our immune systems are unbreakable

I still have a shit immune system. I'm on a Z-Pack for a upper respiratory condition right now. I am, according to my husband who obviously loves me so much, "constantly sick and if I had been born in the 1800s I would have died a long time ago." I was tested for every immune deficiency problem under the sun when I had viral meningitis, because it was weird in and of itself that a "healthy" 23-year-old would get viral meningitis in the first place. Nothing turned up except a very high EBV (Epstein-Barr virus) titer.

My party went okay. Nothing great. Had to spend the next day with my husband's family, who don't like me because I don't share their down-home country attitude and they think I'm cold, or a bitch, or something. I have to work the next three nights. Merry Christmas to me!

[bradxxx]

i had to work tonight too.  lets just say that the type of person inconsiderate and thoughtless enough to order delivery on a night like tonight is exactly the type of person who doesnt tip.  a whopping $15 in tips over dinner rush, significantly less than my usual average. 

[Erin S]

Tango Fistula your username reminds me of an unfortunate incident at work last night... I was trying to put a pressure dressing on the dialysis fistula of a very angry, combative old man w/ dementia, and needless to say... Blood everywhere. At least I was making some of that "awesome" holiday bonus pay.

[suitor]

Drink alone! Fuck people! I suck at talking with people and hate bars/clubs. It just seems like trendy people trying to congregate, talk, dance, etc. I never fit in there or anywhere else. Always been an outcast and loner. I only looked this shit up 'cause I'm supposed to take this girl out... We are supposed to go to Tea Chai Te? (PDX spot, NW 23rd, Sellwood, Burnside /// Can you impress girls by telling them you have a couple hundred stickers on NW 23rd but that half of them have been BUFFED?? FUCK THIS CITY!!) but then one of my siblings told this girl I'd take her to like 5-6 other places "'cause it's in the same neighborhood" and that "I don't talk". UGH!! Fucking hate this shit. It makes me cringe so fucking much but I shut my mouth and take it 'cause it's my sibling. I'm just fucking shy and it takes me forever to be able to talk to people properly. I don't like going out places that much because it seems like everyone sort of fits in somewhere but I've never felt that way so I'll just sit in the corner alone or with a friend but feel like I'm bringing people down. Fucked up. Drinking again. Fuck!! Mail friends about shit but they don't fucking care. People are such a letdown. Write long shit.. get no reply or 1 sentence reply. Write more and get no reply. Yeah. Hate everyone!

[suitor]

It's also fucked up when your friends are total alcoholic punks / music nerds and either have a ton of cheap booze on hand (Rainier, Pabst) here. PACIFIC NORTHWEST SHIT BEER. Or Your friends live close to bars or DJ at bars. I like hanging out to some degree but really don't talk to people. Never know what to say. Social anxiety. I don't like going to bars / clubs 'cause of the "fit in" atmosphere / that shit is going to kill me eventually and I know it. Just the way it is.

I've also got relatives that work for alcohol companies / bars and I can get free booze  any day of the week so that doesn't help. Blackout drunk punx. Moving to PDX was a bad idea for trying to stay sober. Too fucking hard. Too close to the fucking graves. Too fucking alone. Too much time to think. Too much everything. Too many fake people here. People that care but really don't. People that claim to have your back but really don't. I'm not that way. I tell people I have their backs 100% and mean it. When everyone is dead you only have your friends. Ya know?

I really sort of only understand the street at this point. Names & such. Graffiti and stickers. It gives me a sense of belonging / community even though I don't know any of these people. I think if you've never fit in anywhere and then find something you can connect to / understand that you attach yourself to it and don't let go for anything. I'd stick up for any of the other people into the same thing 'cause we're into the same thing, though anonymously. I don't like social media or self-promotion but some people are into it and I can't blame people for having different ideas / wants than me.

Booze & Vandalism.

What the fuck else is there to do in life?

Fuck music! This is immediate!!  Girls and guys and kids, etc. I've been out before at like noon putting shit up and had kids shouting from cars if I want to trade stickers. So fucking cool! 

[suitor]

I agree with you, I definitely need a hobby. The trouble is that we don't have a ton of money right now, and it's the middle of December in Indiana. In the summer I go horseback riding, which is a great stress reliever. Suggestions welcome. I agree that there are no easy answers. I've lost 15 pounds since I stopped drinking, which is pretty rewarding in and of itself -  I weigh the same now as I did in 9th grade. I guess I can always start crocheting or cross-stitching just to complete the old-lady image.

We're looking into moving to a bigger city (Indianapolis) in the next 1-2 years, so hopefully there there will be more opportunities for alcohol-free good times. I live in West Lafayette currently. Home of Purdue University and not much else.

Brooklyn's too far away for me, I would get home sick. I totally see the appeal, but I'm too much of a wimp to live 1-2 hours driving distance from my family.

Hey!! I should introduce you to my friend! He's from NY, loves punk, and going Portland Meadows to bet on the horses.

Not drinking is pretty overrated. It's like never cumming. You can't abstain forever! The only upside to not drinking is you might get more exercise or live longer and who cares about either when you're skinny and on a death trip (feel like committing suicide for 3+ days in a row.). So many good bridges and plenty of belts around.

[grievous angel]

suitor

Do you ever have to work?

[suitor]

My area of expertise!   I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last year and a half so I've got the non-drinking social life down.   Here's how I have fun without bars:

1.) Potlucks -  If money is tight offer to host and you usually end up with tons of yummy leftovers.  Discussed in greater detail here: http://terminal-boredom.com/forums/index.php?topic=19705.0

2.) Fancy dinner night -  invite people over for a fancy dinner.  We're friends with a couple who do this every Sunday and have had us over for an awesome homemade Indian feast.

3.) Games / cards night -  Euchre for me

4.) Go to yoga class  - Feels good physically but also feels good to get out the house and be around people.  Or just go to the gym or whatever.  YMCA memberships are usually super cheap.  Most towns though have a community yoga class that's 5 bucks or less.

5.) Bad TV night - I don't have cable so I go over to a girl friend's house at least once a month to catch up on bad tv together.


I have moved a lot and in my experience things are just about the same wherever I go.  Although when I first move somewhere it's usually harder because I have to start from scratch making friends and stuff.

I love the idea of taking a yoga class, because it would probably help my back pain as well. I have two herniated discs and need surgery, but I don't have health insurance.

The trouble is, I don't really have any friends in this town anymore. I had meningitis last year (which caused my spinal issues) and was in the hospital for a long time. It's been a year almost to the day since that happened, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've had any sort of social interaction with a friend. The person I thought was my best friend in Lafayette won't answer my calls or texts. Actually, basically ever since I had my kid (who's 3 now) I've gradually lost friends and, well, it sucks. And like I said, I work 3rd shift, which basically limits my social life 5/7 days of the week to anything before 9:30. Which no one is into.

I have satellite, a nice house, and a nice kitchen. I like the idea of having a potluck or a fancy dinner night, but I don't think anyone here would bother coming. Like I said before, living in a small town like Lafayette, everything revolves around drinking and/or going to bars. Because there's not much else to do. I do know of a community center that offers a cheap yoga class, I think I'm going to sign up.

Bottom line is: I think I need to move. Which sucks, because I grew up here, my whole family is here, and I rely on them for A LOT. Anytime I need a last-minute babysitter I know I can count on my mom, who lives 4 minutes away from me. I don't want to move, really, but I also don't want to spend the  rest of my life here as a complete hermit. I'd like to be able to hang out with people who have similar interests as mine who I can listen to records with, but it's just not happening.

Today my husband told me that no one in Lafayette likes me because I come off as "erratic and weird," which I don't think is true. I don't know if he was just trying to fuck with me, but that really stung. I think I'll just quit now, I don't want to be accused (again) of "whining a lot.

*Addendum: I have no desire to drink, so that's not even part of the issue.

Hey Erin, I love you!! Small towns forever!  Erratic and weird. Can totally relate. No punks where I'm from. Vancouver Washington.

[suitor]

I just sent out invitations on Facebook for a Christmas party on the 15th... I hope enough people will come so it's not just 2-3 people hanging out awkwardly. My husband's a chef so he's gonna do all the cooking, and I encouraged people to bring dishes too. I'll be playing records and taking pictures. Hopefully this will work out, I'm kind of excited, I've wanted to throw a Christmas party for years but never got around to it. I'll probably send the kid to my mom's house since he's at the age where he's into everything.

Much thanks to those who gave good ideas.

Tina - I tried looking up local yoga classes online at our community center, but all I could find where ones from the Fall. I guess I'll have to keep looking. There's got to be something out there.

As an aside - another reason I stopped drinking was that alcoholism runs in my mom's side of the family. Her mom is still alive (somehow), and she still drinks a box of wine a day, and smokes. Her husband, who was a fucking anesthesiologist died a very bad, painful death of liver failure in his early 60s.

I don't think my husband was trying to be "mean," he's just not very good at sugar-coating things. Even before he said that I knew I'd fallen out of touch with almost all my friends.

In July of his year I was driving home from my brother's birthday and got pulled over for having a turn signal out. I tested 0.01 above the legal limit and went to jail. That was another reason I quit drinking. Luckily, my step-dad's a lawyer and I didn't get much besides a shit-load of fines and 30 hours of community service. The big deal is, I'm going to have to declare this to the nursing board next October. I won't lose my RN license, but it's made it harder to find jobs. Before that happened, the only trouble I'd ever been in was getting a speeding ticket.

It's just not worth it to be anymore. I have a lot of health problems, and I know alcohol is just going to make them worse. Of course a glass of wine every now and then ain't gonna kill you, but I just have no desire to drink anymore.

My husband is also a severe alcoholic who's in AA, so I feel like a complete hypocrite when I drink.

Meshkalina - Good advice. I'm throwing a Christmas party on the 15th and am planning to make some kind of punch with booze in it. I'm sure no one will come anyway if there isn't alcohol to be had.

Hey,

I went to a Christmas party for the first time last year. It was pretty cool. My friend who I work with threw it at his condo with his boyfriend. My friend / co-worker is 52 (I think) and I think his boyfriend is like 28.  He lives on like the 16th floor (top floor) by the Tilikum Crossing in PDX. Killer view! Freezing cold in December! I mostly stood out on the lanai and thought about plunging 16 floors onto the blacktop but didn't follow through. Suicidal / depressed punks forever!

[suitor]

I should look up AA meetings in Sellwood since I live there. SELLWOOD PUNX!  I'm just shy/non-talkative so I've never want to go. Thought about it living in Vancouver Washington. I think they used to have them across from Clark College (community college there) but being the only punk / fucking people blasting shit like Crucifix's Dehuminization's LP when school's out and wanting to kill everyone in fucking sight I never fucking done anything there. FUCK MY HOME CITY!!! Vancouver Washington is growing more rapidly  than PDX currently but as soon as they have toll bridges so that'll be over. No punk scene to be found. I tried to start one many times. Spend years + a lot of hours doing punk/DIY shit but total fucking failure. In graff/stickers WE RELY!

[nuggetsvolume1]

I would just accept the fact that after a certain age, most single people are out at bars. The rest are home with their families. I've come to accept that and realize the bars are not for me. There really isn't an in-between in our society. Potlucks and shit like that don't really compare to a drunken punk show with 50-100 people. It's just life.

Suitor, A.A. in the PDX area is probably loaded with cool people. It's a good replacement for your bar friends, and meetings are always good for you if you are trying to get sober. PDX in particular is probably a hard place to stay clean: nine of the ten or so people I know who moved there in this recent wave are alcoholics and wanted to experience the goofy craft beer life. Tons of bars, etc.

Narcotics Annonymous meetings are also amazing. I've never been to a bad one...I do two a week. Really good people (who hang out if you can get into a clique) and the message is very strong. PDX NA meetings are probably filled with interesting characters.

Remember, these are the same people you would have been attracted to approach as a friend at the bar, they are just sober now.

[nuggetsvolume1]

btw, if the "God thing" bugs you, they have a lot of non-theistic/atheist meetings. I am sure PDX has a ton. I just went to one a week ago; all really cool, open minded people. Google it.