Social interactions that don't involve alcohol?

[Erin S]

Wow, okay.

1) Every physician I've ever talked to, and I've talked to plenty, consider alcoholism a disease. It's listed in the DSM-IV a recognized psychiatric disorder. I don't mean any disrespect, I'm about the least controversial person you'll ever meet, I'm just saying.

2) Moving, while it's tempting, scares me. I grew up here, my family is here, etc., and I depend on them for a LOT, the most important of which being childcare. I just had a long conversation on the phone with my dad and he had some pretty good insight on the situation since him and my mom were also young parents. Things would be easier I think if I knew more people with kids. It doesn't help that a lot of the people I used to consider close friends have moved away.

3) Since I do live in a college town there are plenty of things to do, but I have a hard time making new friends and even if I were too, I'd say the chances of meeting someone who has anything in common with me taste-wise are slim to none. I think I am going to take a yoga class, if I can find one.

[Jackie O]

As an aside, I just called Goodwill and signed up to do my 30 hours of community service there. I'm doing it in 4 hour chunks. Has anyone on here ever volunteered on Goodwill? I'm not expecting it to be hard labor or anything, but it wasn't my first choice. Basically the only reason I called them is because I can walk there in 15 minutes from my house. I really wanted to do my community service at the animal shelter (I'm sick of humans), but they didn't have any spots available. By the end of the week I'll have 20 out of my 30 hours of community service done, which is encouraging.

I was a hospital volunteer in my teens.  I would bring meals to ICU patients and help geezers eat their apple sauce.  Erin I don't know how you can stomach that kind of work.  You must have constant care-taker burnout.  More recently, I spent ten months photographing the insides of kill-shelters in Brooklyn, Trenton and Philly.  It was a commissioned coffee table book by some really passionate activist.  I cried a lot. It just made me want to get drunk.  Most of the volunteers in those places were convicted criminals.

Do you like gardening?

[DickJohnson]

must be a concept outside of the Midwest.  -drunk and confused.

[Erin S]

I like gardening (in theory), but it's the middle of winter in Indiana so that's not really an option. I tried looking for yoga classes and foreign language classes around here, but since I live in a small college town nothing is starting until the beginning of next semester. Which sucks. My mom's answer was "go to church," which I'm pretty sure is not a great way to meet people my age have semi-similar interests as mine.

I know as you get older it gets harder and harder to make new friends, but I don't exactly consider myself old (I'm 24) - but I did get married and have a kid very young, which none of my friends did. It's hard for my husband to relate to what I'm going through because I just don't think he understands why I'm so upset.

As far as nursing - you get used to it. I hate my current job, which is in long-term care with the elderly. I have an interview coming up at a psychiatric hospital, which I'm excited about because I love working in psych.

I talked to my dad earlier and he said basically the same thing happened to him and my mom when they had kids young. Which wasn't exactly encouraging.

[bradxxx]

i have friends who seem happy to smoke weed and not drink.  maybe you should hang out with hippies?

[Erin S]

Don't have much of an interest in smoking weed anyway, and if I was drug tested at my job not only would I lose my job, I would be reported to the nursing board and possibly lose my license. Nursing boards take a very serious view on illegal substance use - even marijuana.

[tina]

I like gardening (in theory), but it's the middle of winter in Indiana so that's not really an option. I tried looking for yoga classes and foreign language classes around here, but since I live in a small college town nothing is starting until the beginning of next semester. Which sucks. My mom's answer was "go to church," which I'm pretty sure is not a  hospital, which I'm excited about because I love working in psych.

A yoga studio you can just drop in for a class any day of the week.   Google says there is one called community yoga there that has $15/class rate.

[Jackie O]

How about magick?  You know, just tell your huz that you're doing witchcraft now.  That's your new hobby.  Free tarot readings.  invite some friends and take photos of it for instagram.  Have a Tupperware party!

[Jackie O]

Actually, don't listen to me.  I'm drunk.

[bradxxx]

Don't have much of an interest in smoking weed anyway, and if I was drug tested at my job not only would I lose my job, I would be reported to the nursing board and possibly lose my license. Nursing boards take a very serious view on illegal substance use - even marijuana.

you dont have to smoke i was just thinking it might be easier to hang out with stoners than with drunks.  probably wouldnt have alot in common though, those peoples whole conversations tend to revolve around boring "Remember when?" drug stories...

[Miranda]

I do think that it sounds like the problem is not so much your location as a shift in your lifestyle.  It seems like this is something that happens to most people at some point, it just happened to you earlier than most.  You know, if your problem is that you just don't know people who enjoy the same things you do at this point, moving to another city is probably going to make that harder, not easier.  Have you thought about book clubs?  What about your kid -- do you meet other parents?  Surely some of them must be at least slightly interesting?

I don't drink all that much and I never really have (though I do get pretty drunk maybe once a month), but I don't have a problem hanging out with people who do.  It seems like it's harder to transition if you used to drink a lot and then stopped, as opposed to never doing it all that much.  On the other hand, if I lived in my hometown, a small college town where the social scene revolves around drinking to the exclusion of all else, it would probably be tougher.  Buuuut I just looked up Lafayette and it's well over twice the size of my hometown.

I don't know that I completely buy the idea of addiction as a "disease" in the traditional sense, but it obviously goes beyond a "choice."  Something doesn't have to be a literal DISEASE for it to be a serious condition.  I keep meaning to go to Al-Anon (ok actually other people keep trying to get me to go), but it is honestly so inconvenient to my schedule.  Also I feel like the other people there will look down on me for my problems not being serious enough?  Actually I should go to a Nar-Anon meeting but there are none in this city, what the fuck Nar-Anon, this is a major city with some major fucking junkies in it, you really think it's more important to have a meeting in fucking Amarillo?

I wrote this while kinda buzzed so feel free to disregard all of it.

[Miranda]

Oh yeah, and: if I were trying to get clean/sober I'm sure I would have a major problem with the god aspect of things, but the people I know who go to meetings are generally clean, and the people I know who refuse to go to meetings are usually more like "clean."

[bradxxx]

al anon is kind of horseshit too.  my mom went there week after week and everyone told her how bad her life was, and eventually she got a divorce from my dad.  years later she openly admits that it was a mistake, and the time she was married was the happiest years of her life.  of course thats not the case with everyone, but be careful what "other people" try to talk you into, they arent the ones living your life and as well meaning as they may be, there is no solution that works perfectly for everyone. 

[k.]

I don't really care to debate the AA program, I don't personally attend meetings, but in response to Erin's trying to find sober people to do stuff with, I still say that the people at meetings are going to generally be sober and they will want to hang out and do sober things, and it also sounds like she may possibly feel some benefit from group therapy, and maybe even having a mentor, but what the fuck do I know? You don't gotta be an alcoholic to go to meetings either. I've never been an alcoholic, but I have attended AA meetings because at one point I was exploring techniques for overcoming other addictive behaviors, and I know people who are addicted to video games, I have known people have been addiction to candy and over the counter medicine that doesn't fuck you up. There are plenty of gamblers at meetings too. Generally, I think most meetings probably try to be inclusive, but like I said, if it's something you're interested in, it's something that takes some work to find the "right" one.

[k.]

And the difference between this and church, like your mom recommended, is that there is a good chance that you're going to run into people at meetings with similar interests, at least eventually. I know tons of punks that work the program.