For those that went to college...

[Maltodextrin]

I also don't want to break down my body doing physical labor

Further complicating matters, I'm moving in with my girlfriend soon and need to find work immediately. She's a waitress at a bar, so I would like to have hours that at least aren't the polar opposite of hers (ie no nine to fiveday work). All I can think of is retail work, which makes me feel as crestfallen and defeated as I've ever felt in my life.

Two things-- first, the right physical labour won't break your body down, it'll build it up!

Second, given your current situation, you might want to consider my permanent fall-back job of security work.  It's far from ideal or a career path, but you can make decent enough money (ie compared to flipping burgers or retail, not real career stuff or trades) and not ever have to deal with anyone.  These days I spend a lot of time getting paid to either watch crap mainstream rock bands or sit in a truck listening to the Television Personalities and reading PG Wodehouse books all night.  I don't want to do it forever, but it's a tolerable alternative to retail and 9-to-5.

[zombiewarfare]

Right Ho, Jeeves... i almost got work at that Rolling Stones SARS thing in Toronto a few years back because they needed a zillion new security guards in 2 weeks... it seemed like it would have been easy, but i flaked out after i got hired elsewhere.
I know a guy who worked as a security guard for a few years but got all burned out on it, he seemed to get depressed after kicking the 1000th hooker out of the 1000th parking lot.

[StruttinSutton]

I went to Purdue University in West Lafayette, IN off and on for years.  I took breaks from it because I hated it and partied too much.  I majored in Management and double minored in Marketing and Accounting.  I tried going back after a 2 1/2 year layoff and found my hatred of it along with alcoholism couldn't get me through the 2 more years I had there.   
If I could do it again or give advice to anyone, I would say don't go immediately.  Move out of your parents place and get a job you like.  I know a ton of people that dropped out due to their major or hate their major/field of work. 
My dad got his degree going part time while working full time.  He didn't need to take any aid and got some assistance from his work.  If I could have done that, I would have loved to go that route.  Purdue doesn't offer that so I was screwed.

[Sukebe GG]

Moving to Japan right now is also off the table for me since I'm actually, uh,  in love for the first time in my life and want to ride things out here for the time being.

The sound of 10,000 panties drying up in Tokyo....Hope it works out for ya...

Undergrad degrees are fairly useless and are just another social weed-out device. But you can get a job teaching English in Japan with any four-year degree- well, most people can. My own twisted educational past has bits and pieces of what everyone else has stated but throw in psilocibin mushrooms, the zapatistas, the DEA and NorKor missile radars on the Sea of Japan coast. I'd still love to have a chance to get a post-grad degree in something marketable like translation or something completely "useless" like philosophy or theology.

[lacey underall]

The worst thing for me is this thought: I have about 20 grand in school debt right now, and I only want to go further in debt if I know it's going to lead to me having a satisfying career after I complete further schooling (whether this is a Master's or a Doctorate). I really don't know what it is that I want to go back for right now, BUT I don't want to waste time bumming around, hating my life, and working sucky jobs (or not working sucky jobs as it were). So I'd like to get started on going back to school as soon as possible. Another worry: The only math I've taken since 10th grade was a stats class I took pass/fail at University. While the verbal aspect should be fine for me, I've got a feeling I will be fucked on the GRE because of my weakness in mathematics.

ARGH!!!!!!!!

I took the GRE about 5 times before I got a high enough score to even be considered for anything...before the admissions people would actually examine other parts of my application. It sucked a lot because it was expensive. Sometimes I would fuck up on the verbal, sometimes on the math, sometimes I would walk out in the middle because I was bored and annoyed. I don't actually remember my scores at this point (about 6 years ago I guess), but they weren't high. I don't know how it is in other programs, but if you can find a professor or professors you have an interest in, try to bug them. They can pull strings to get you admitted. I'm pretty sure that is how I am here. They probably won't care if you are good at math or not. I'm awful at math. Like, embarrassingly awful. From simple arithmatic to calculus. And most of the time I don't have to deal with it, although when you are in grad school people seem to expect you to know everything when all getting a PhD is only knowing a whole lot about one very specific thing (or pretending to). I think I got one of those practice GRE math books and it helped a little bit, at least to jog the memory about fractions and percents, etc, and they have practice problems, although I don't know how helpful those were.  Also I've heard rumors there are some jobs (like teaching in certain schools, on reservations, etc) you can do for a few years after grad school to help make the debt go away...or you might actually get a good job and be able to slowly pay it off. The debt is really not something you should even consider at this point.

[SSR]

Not to be completely cynical but the above shows that one of the real lessons of college is how to jump through hoops and deal with unreasonable rules. Add to that developing the ability to bullshit and your degree will prove that you are fit for a life in corporate America or the government bureaucracy.

[lacey underall]

Perhaps, but I don't see how it is solely a lesson for college-goers.

[goneoffdatlean]

Steve-you should probably stick to the field of academics.  I was kind of in the same boar you're in and it seems the best choice.  I guess.

[MattCoppens]

 Stupid college assholes! I work as a job counselor with mentally retarded clients and am the only one there other than our clients that doesn't have a degree. I just didn't have the patience to further my education.

[bradx]

[Deke Dirt]

May 1991- High School Diploma, Broken Arrow High School, Broken Arrow, OK, United States of America (marijuana & friends; Butthole Surfers)

May 1993- Associate's Degree, Tulsa Junior College, Broken Arrow, OK, United States of America (marijuana, alcohol & friends; Cop Shoot Cop)

December 1997- Journalism Degree, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, United States of America (parties, alcohol & friends; Crash Worship)

October 2001- Resigned after four years with Tulsa World daily newspaper as reporter/photographer, Broken Arrow, OK, United States of America (alcohol & friends; Moistboyz)

November 2003- Resigned after two years with EG&G government contractor to the US Military as PR representative, Washington, DC, United States of America (alcohol; the Mummies)

October 2004- Resigned after six months with Meals On Wheels as unpaid volunteer, Worthing, West Sussex, England (alcohol & wife; Killed By Death)

Today- Got drunk last night, getting drunk again since 0700GMT (Hi, bradx & Sprague Dawley); trainer/Sirius operator with Lloyds Financial Group, Worthing, West Sussex, England (alcohol & wife; Live Fast Die)

Tomorrow- Dynamically hungover; promise self will buy Internet mail-order/delivery beers for bradx & Sprague Dawley, Worthing, West Sussex, England (water & wife; River City Tanlines)

[Mattfactor]

Got a BA in English in December of 2003 and immediately went to work in a menial, soul-slaying job at a lumberyard while I waited for something better to open up in the town I was living in.  Quit after two months.  I then decided that if I was going to do manual labor I'd at least make some money at it, so I became a full-time roofer (I'd done it for the previous six summers).  It was alright and I eventually landed a part-time gig as a sportswriter for a local newspaper.

I had moved with the wife to a house out in the country and lived a sort of Utopian life, working very few hours and fishing and hunting as much as I wanted while I waited for the wife to finish college.  It was great, but when she finished I realized I needed a "real" job, and I decided to go back to school for a semester and take some education classes so that I could get certified to teach.

So, at present I am in my first year as a teacher/coach in a tiny town in the Texas panhandle, and it's been alright.  I think teaching at the college level would be prime, but this is okay for now.