True Detective

[cerealrecords]

Last episode should be someone waking up from a bad dream and then pours a bowl of cereal then chews on it thoughtfully as the birds chirp.

Yeah, pretty much.

This season is so confusing for me.

I find TV--or anything--satisfying for two reasons. One, cause the world they present comes into convincing contact with the world I know, and the contact throws off sparks. This is overwhelmingly the main way things work for me. The second way is that they work within their form really well. They're well made. I just rewatched S01E01 of TD and really, it was pretty much just as stupid in the first respect. Nic's imagining of the world is fundamentally pretty retarded. But in the second respect it was extremely well-made. The interleaving of recollections and the layering of the plot was very expert. Marty existed to confirm the audience's exasperation with Rust. Etc.

So what's confusing is that the second season is much, much worse in both respects but I still sort of love it. Maybe even more? Maybe because the way it's bad exposes how he has nothing to say? I dunno. It's confusing.

[Dick]

Has there ever been a more disappointing second season? Sure, there's Caddyshack 2 and whatever movie follow-ups, but a TV series? This is straight garbage. Except Rick Springfield.

Hey don't you be shit talkin Caddyshack II like that, mang.

[seb]

Has there ever been a more disappointing second season? Sure, there's Caddyshack 2 and whatever movie follow-ups, but a TV series? This is straight garbage. Except Rick Springfield.

Twin Peaks fell off pretty hard hard when Lynch took his leave in Season 2. Don't remember it being this bad, though.

[erickelric]

[tahiti amin]

My father once told me a story about how during the height of the Cold War, the space race, the Americans had invested millions of dollars into developing a pen that could write in space. The Russians? They used a fucking pencil.
That's me, Ray. I'm the fucking pencil. Casper's killers knew this, and now they're trying to erase everything I've built.

Sometimes you're just a clerk at a shitty motel listening to muffled sounds of assfucking through the thin walls. What i'm trying to say, Ray, is do you have a reservation? Cause we got no room for walk-ins, not tonight.

Russians once sent a dog into space Ray. A mangy mutt who had no hope. And she died. Just like Casper. Stan. As it turns out...I was the space capsule, rotating, trapped, floating in a black cold hell.

It's a dog eat dog world, Ray. And I'm the fucking Chinaman.

What did Peter Piper pick a peck of, Ray? Did he pick a peck of my fucking shoes? No, Ray. Peter Piper thought he was picking, but he was really selling. And selling don't work when you've got no eggs in no baskets. Casper knew this.

It feels like were back at the playground, Ray, and all the kids are fighting over who gets to use the swings.
Except now everybody's too tired to swing, we just want to sit.

All my life I've been bringing knives to gunfights, and now that I have a gun everybody's switched back to knives. Know what I say? More bullets for me.

They say life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get. Well I do Ray, you get fucking cavities.

You want to know why I drink, Ray? My wife's waving around her womb like a goddamn bargaining chip and asking me why I don't want a bring a kid in the world. Well sweetheart, I can think of 5 MILLION fucking reasons!

She sells sea shells by the sea shore? She's a whore, Ray. And the only sea shell she'll be selling any time soon is her own fuckin' clam.

Sometimes you have to fart really bad, Ray, but you don't know if it's going to be a fart or something more. No. Not until you commit.
But you always commit and you're standing in the middle of the supermarket in shorts. Know what I'm saying, Ray?

just got caught up on this dog turd of a television show and this is cracking me up.

[erickelric]

So many great and terrible lines.

Finally, some of these fuckers are dead!

Closet CHIPs got shot from behind.

Lessee -- how awkward was that making out between Bezzi & Velc(o)ro? I mean, I know it was supposed to be awkward but it felt awkward on top of awkward.
Double awk-six.

For some reason, I'm hoping Frank's wife literally cuts his balls off. You can supply your own dialogue for that scene.


Almost there! I'm guessing some other useless plot elements will be be introduced in the last half hour.

Also, hoping CHIPs' mom gets an Uzi and starts mowing down pointless peripheral characters......leaving the last bullet for herself.
To me, she is the stand-in for Pitzo-lat-o: useless and groping for meaning. I bet he gives better blowjobs though.

[sloweducation]

Seems like two different shows at this point. One with Vince Vaughn is getting better and finally the characters aren't caricatures. The other with the other 3 goofs continues to be contrived.

"Why don't you do this for me." POW

Vaughn is finally getting a bit of Bogie on.

Compared with Farrell's & McAdams;

"You're not a bad man."

"Yes" (sad puppy eyed Farrell) "I am." (cue me bursting out laughing at what's probably supposed to be a heavy scene of two very damaged people accepting each other and possibly themselves*for a brief moment.)

Excited for the last episode. Which I can't say I was before this episode.

[LayawayButch]

Grand finale is going to be Rick Springfield making flowers on Vince Vaughn's wife & the yellow king is going to jump out of some Vinci sludge dump brandishing a mop & tutu. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Fuck my life.

[Richie]

For some reason my favorite line of the season is when they're making the getaway from the orgy in the woods house and whatever the gay guy who got iced's name was (Is it bad I still don't remember his name?) is looking through the papers he stole and goes "These contracts....there's signatures all over them!"

I really like Velcoro though. And VV really chewed that scenery this last episode. 1.5 hour finale! Can't wait.

[Scrod Prickknee]

Grand finale is going to be Rick Springfield making flowers on Vince Vaughn's wife & the yellow king is going to jump out of some Vinci sludge dump brandishing a mop & tutu. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Fuck my life.

The appearance of the corporeal Yellow King is likely the only thing that can rescue this turd.

[Scrod Prickknee]

People seem to be OK with Colin Farrell's "acting," but I think he's one of the worst things about the show. Heavy breathing, mongo fake accent, labored movements...those acting classes people wait tables in order to attend in LA usually iron those kinks out before a CSI bit part. I guess maybe he and VV are both trying to go over the top and all, but neither are compelling, and the source material obviously sucks. What a shitter this is.

Whoever the gay cop was (real or character name) was the worst, though, as there was nothing at all memorable about him.

[LayawayButch]

[Bones Malone]

For the first time, season 2 had my full attention. I was glued yet still confused and not sure who the characters names were. They could have made this a 2.5 hour movie and removed all the BS. Anyways...The real True Detective in S2 is DNA testing.

[Scrod Prickknee]

Not quite as good as Sharknado 3.

[Bones Malone]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLxjyNNIL10GOm25x7MDgwa-y6WT8dtIL_&t=68&v=mz2BhtYFq7U