ChaCha.com

[FadeDignity]

Stolen from another message board:

www.ChaCha.com

What is it, you ask?

Well, it's a search engine, but it's a little different.

Type in your question (be sure to make it long and hard) and then click on the 'Search With Guide' button.

You will be connected to some poor sap who has to search for you. It's actually quite entertaining.

I only hope you guys don't wreak too much havok on these guys

A few from some members at the Insurgency forums. They aren't mine.


Quote:
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SethL
SethL: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hi
SethL: Good evening.
You: i want to know if theyres any places i can buy a bomb
SethL: Okay..
You: thanks
SethL: It's against company policy to provide info of that sort but here it is.
You: oh thanks
You: also
You: is theyre any tickets i can buy for a flight to washington?
SethL: Okay
You: Sweet thanks, now how can i learn to drive planes.
SethL: Let me find that for you.
SethL: There.
You: Thanks man, may allah be with you.
Status: Session ended. 



Quote:
Status: Looking for a guide...
Status: Connected to guide: JacobR
JacobM: Welcome to ChaCha!
JacobM: How are you?
You: yes, i come to america united states from tajikistan 2 days ago, and i look for help to make a house of mine. i need mexican immigrant to force in captive and work. you find for me yes?
JacobM: sorry, i can't do that for you
You: well what can you find?
You: many things?
JacobM: yes, anything that is on the internet i can find
You: like pictures of bathing suit being sexy yes?
JacobM: i cant find that for you either
JacobM: i can find models for you
You: children models yes?
JacobM: sorry, definitely not that
You: why? where i come from, we take children into field at noon each of days and say to them "ok you bend over and make noise like goat" and then we have sexy time
You: but i get off topic, i need find michael jackson smooth criminal video yes?
JacobM: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Staus: Session ended. 

[fuckgaze]

WOW! This does rule!!!

My QUERY: why is it that i masterbate daily but sometimes masterbate weekly?

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ChristinaH
ChristinaH: Welcome to ChaCha!
ChristinaH: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: sweet
ChristinaH: Hmm, Your query is a bit difficult
You: why
ChristinaH: Well, It depends on YOU I guess
You: you are here to help me, arent you?
ChristinaH: There is not going to be a site telling you why you choose to flog when you do
You: i thought that's what cha cha was for
You: hello, you there?
You: okay
You: new query
ChristinaH: Did u not receive that link?
You: ok ok
ChristinaH: Are these results sufficient?
You: how about this: why do i suck so much?
ChristinaH: Suck at life?
You: i try not to suck but i do anways
ChristinaH: Hmm
You: Christina, you seem like a very helpful guide. Why can I not get your help?
ChristinaH: you are getting help
ChristinaH: You are getting links
ChristinaH: Maybe the fact that you cant tell is one reason why you suck
You: but these links are not helpful
ChristinaH: Maybe because I don't know which forum you are on so I can read and laugh is another reason why you suck
You: they are paid advertisments
ChristinaH: Well Unless there is a webpage dedicated to why you suck then your stuck guessing
You: Okay, tell me this. Why are there no websites about why i suck?
ChristinaH: You know the BEST place to get an unbiased opinion?
ChristinaH: Yahoo Answers
You: Ya know, Asking Jeeves has always been faithful
ChristinaH: Because you are not elite enough to be posted about and therefore judged as to your suckieness or not
ChristinaH: That is because he sucks
You: Jeeves does suck
You: What do you think about me wanting to fuck him up?
ChristinaH: !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by infoSeeker (What do you think about me wanting to fuck him up?)
ChristinaH: Yea, Gotta stop hanging around sucking people
ChristinaH: Hmm
ChristinaH: Cool
You: Hey
You: Tell me one thing
ChristinaH: Yea?
You: Are you a black woman?
ChristinaH: No
You: So, yer mexican?
ChristinaH: Why would I be mexican?
You: if yer not black, you must be mexican
You: wite people are too good for the internet
ChristinaH: Oh really? So are you mexican or black?
You: im naked
ChristinaH: Haha, That is why you suck
You: i know
ChristinaH: Anything else I can help you with?
You: Yeah
ChristinaH: Yes?
You: Do you love me?
ChristinaH: No
You: Why
ChristinaH: You suck
You: Besides that
ChristinaH: You are naked at your pC that is a little strange
You: People dont masterbate watching their DVD on TV anymore
ChristinaH: No?
ChristinaH: Sucks for them
You: they have a world full of strange and exciting porn on the internet
ChristinaH: Anything else? I do have to go
You: why?
You: why go?
You: One more ?
ChristinaH: I have my reasons
ChristinaH: What?
You: am I not exciting enough to chitter chat with?
ChristinaH: Its not that
ChristinaH: But I have to be done in 10 minutes
You: then whats the prob mis?
ChristinaH: 4 sec
ChristinaH: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

[FadeDignity]

hahahahahahahahha oh my god

That conversation had me in tears! You totally almost got her to cyber.

[Claire Dactyl]

You can look up the guides on their ChaChaUnderground page, and see a picture and profile.

There's like, six Christina H's though.

[fuckgaze]

I hope it was this Christina H

http://underground.chacha.com/guide/guide_profile/8246

Quote:

What I'm Into:
"Hardcore music, Jesus, going to shows, CS Lewis books, tattoo’s, straight edge"

[fuckgaze]

Wow, I must be a real ladies man! I can keep them going forever! This is a fun thing to do at work.

QUERY: eye jammed my finger, how can i heal it?

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JanetP
JanetP: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hi, so glad someone is here
You: can you help me?
JanetP: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: thank, god
You: my pinky finger is killing me
JanetP: ah,
JanetP: one moment while i search
You: oh yeah
You: how old are you?
You: do you get paid a lot to work for cha cha?
You: is this fake?
You: ok, what do i do? i dont get it
JanetP: what do you mean?
You: how do i use cha cha?
You: do you get paid to be a guide?
JanetP: yes, but not enough to sit and chat with folks, we are searchers
You: isnt that boring?
JanetP: nope
You: i know you have 10 minutes
You: can i at least get the full 10 minutes?
JanetP: why?
You: cause thats what im allowed, isnt it?
JanetP: yes it is
You: the pinky finger hurts right on the first knuckle
You: actually, its more between the first and second knuckle now that i think about it
JanetP: just got to let it heal
You: i dont have an x-ray machine
JanetP: if you think its broken go in and have a doctor take a xray
You: is there someway to build one?
JanetP: otherwise, grin and bare it
JanetP: no
You: im affraid of doctors
JanetP: to bad
You: can you do one more search?
JanetP: on what?
You: search for homemade x-ray machines
You: please
You: WOW
JanetP:
You: im more so looking for a do-it-yourself build one thing
You: like plans to build one
You: maybe i should make a plastic fork splint?
JanetP: you could
You: how do i make that?
You: i just checked out the inexpensive x-ray machine and there are photos of screws in a skull
JanetP: break off the straight part and tape it around your finger
You: did you send that on purpose? i have a weak stomach
JanetP: to bad
JanetP: listen, you have a good day
You: thanks!
JanetP: thanks for using ChaCha!
JanetP: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
You: you too
You: Rape you?
You: oh, rate
You: jeezus
You: okay
Status: Session ended.