Sobriety

[Erin S]

It's been a couple years since I posted on here. I was just wondering, for those that struggle(d) with addiction, what has helped you. In December me and my husband were arrested for heroin possession and I spent two weeks in jail. I've been sober since then, but it's been hard. I've tried NA, as well as seeing an individual therapist. The past four months have probably been my longest stretch of sobriety in my adult life, except for my pregnancy. I feel like I'm learning to enjoy life clean, but I'd be interested in hearing advice for others in recovery. Thank you so much.

[o.t.h.punk]

May sound pretty stupid but just don't pick up. Eventually the obsession leaves and as long as you don't start again life's probably gonna get better.

[nuggetsvolume1]

Been sober for three years now. Go to N.A. or A.A. meetings 6-7 nights a week. Have a sponsor. Work the steps. If you are an atheist, and are fairly open minded, you can still work this program with amazing results. The basic idea behind the higher power is that YOU are not it, meaning you have to give up trying to control things that are out of control and leave them up to fate/the universe. Most atheists can get behind this concept and there is lots of good info on the net about various ways you can work the program. I personally am a big fan of Albert Ellis/REBT therapy. I did REBT group therapy for three years before getting sober, and I have figured out ways to incorporate that into my tenth step.

The biggest thing is to make sobriety your main focus before anything else, and to just take it one day at a time. I figure any sober or clean day is a successful day. I just try to live each day sober, one day at a time. I don't drink, no matter what happens. Currently going through a break up and it makes it hard to not drink, but I make a commitment to not drink just for that day. Having a sponsor to talk to and the fellowship really makes it easier. Acceptance is key: not just of the fact that I can't drink, but of the fact that life won't always go my way. The "Serenity Prayer" is great for that.

If you have tried N.A. before and didn't like it, consider going back. Sometimes it takes getting used to. There are also some great programs out there like S.O.S. that are totally secular. Albert Ellis's book "When A.A. Doesn't Work For You" is great, as well as the "Smart Recovery" workbook. Smart Recovery doesn't have meetings anymore, I guess, but the textbook is still a classic.


Best of luck.

ps- If you happen to be a hardcore Christian, "Celebrate Recovery" is a good program that has been going on at churches lately. I know a lot of people who left A.A. for that, and they seem to do well.

[Erin S]

Thanks for the advice. Right now I'm only going to NA once a week, but I want to start going more. I also go to relapse prevention group therapy once a week in addition to private sessions with my therapist.

The thing I've been struggling with lately is just not feeling normal. In the past few years I really isolated myself from everyone. I'm trying to reconnect with people, some of whom I haven't talked to for 8 or 9 years. Everyone drinks. Even though alcohol wasn't my drug of choice I'm still trying to avoid it. But it's hard to plan outings here that don't involve drinking or going to a bar.

I just want to get back into the real world, out of my house, and start making friends again. There are a lot of people I need to apologize to. I've been a really shitty friend. Hopefully things will start to get better.

[Wabash Trash]

Think about your kid. The first thing I think about in all dumb-dumb decisions. Think about building a whole unit/family for the boy. Think about him - thinking about you. What would he want? What do you want? Smoke grass if you want to get heavy. Take your kid around in a stroller about town or walk him hand in hand down Main. Be involved again. BE INVOLVED AGAIN.

[Spacecase Records]

For my good friend -- who has struggled with the same addiction -- it was going to prison over and over again that did it for him. He just got beaten down -- all told, he lost a few years of his life in the system and he was only in his mid twenties. I'd take him to the skatepark a lot during that period when he was out. Finding things to do daily helped, as well as cutting ties with folks who were trouble. He went to rehab programs intermittently, but the last time he got sent to prison, he just said, "Enough. I'm not going back." That was six years ago. He's doing great now (even quit cigarettes) and has been ever since that decision. Family and friends motivated him (he didn't want to keep letting them down), but it was his incredible willpower and determination that has gotten him through. Don't give up. Stand strong.     

[rutabowa]

Finding things to do daily helped, as well as cutting ties with folks who were trouble.

This is it... for me anyway, everyone's different... well maybe not daily but at least 3 things a week that you look forward to doing, and that you do for yourself.

It is even better if these aren't just "distracting" things, but are also things that help reinforce your most positive version of who you are/want to be.

most difficult thing is answering "so what do you actually want from life?" . I mean I dunno. but at least when you start piecing that together even a little bit then it seemed to help a bit.

[Erin S]

Think about your kid. The first thing I think about in all dumb-dumb decisions. Think about building a whole unit/family for the boy. Think about him - thinking about you. What would he want? What do you want? Smoke grass if you want to get heavy. Take your kid around in a stroller about town or walk him hand in hand down Main. Be involved again. BE INVOLVED AGAIN.

Thanks, Drew. And yes, Henry is my main motivating factor in all of this. I dropped out of life the past couple of years. I'm picking up the pieces, one by one.

[bradx]

i have over 18 months of sobriety, didnt do any 12 step programs, just quit.  i do alot of walking.  i am on multiple anti anxiety meds. 

[publicimagedanno]

 I recently bought a book called Dharma Punx it's a true story about a punk who struggles with life,becomes a junkie and gets clean through Buddhism. The author's name is Noah Levine and he has another book out titled Refuge Recovery- A Buddhist Path to Recovering from Addiction, a 12 step thing. He writes from a Buddhist/Punk perspective which is cool. Might help? Godspeed/PMA.   

[Jerry Scotty]

I have no advice to offer but I just wanted to say: stay strong. And that surely being involved in music and stuff you like is good for you, so it's great that you're catching up. Be well!

[tina]

I recently bought a book called Dharma Punx it's a true story about a punk who struggles with life,becomes a junkie and gets clean through Buddhism. The author's name is Noah Levine and he has another book out titled Refuge Recovery- A Buddhist Path to Recovering from Addiction, a 12 step thing. He writes from a Buddhist/Punk perspective which is cool. Might help? Godspeed/PMA.

He also has a podcast of his talks that you can stream for free here: http://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/   I like to listen to them from time to time.

[bradx]

i am straight up losing my mind lately trying to stay sober and constantly being around drugs and alcohol.  i had three days off this week for the first time in years, and i spent all three of them watching everyone around me get fucked up.  i am having a hard time balancing sobriety with my desire to be in an active punk band.  i pretty much stopped booking gigs and am just gonna do a few things a year at this point, its really tough sometimes staying strong...

[Erin S]

i am straight up losing my mind lately trying to stay sober and constantly being around drugs and alcohol.  i had three days off this week for the first time in years, and i spent all three of them watching everyone around me get fucked up.  i am having a hard time balancing sobriety with my desire to be in an active punk band.  i pretty much stopped booking gigs and am just gonna do a few things a year at this point, its really tough sometimes staying strong...

It's been hard for me too, all the shows here are in bars and I already struggle with pretty severe social anxiety that I used to "control" with alcohol, Xanax, and Valium. That combo has led to some pretty fucking embarrassing moments, like getting kicked out of Blackout Fest a few years ago. Whatever. Stay strong. You're clean time is inspiring.

[bradx]

thanks.  i am on meds for anxiety and they help but it just builds up and sometimes i find myself with a whole lot of anger in inappropriate situations.  i have a short fuse and a low tolerance for bullshit.  i look back on how i used to act and it makes sense given the context, but holy hell, is my life ever 1000% better these days.  i feel like a hundred bucks today.  i would like to say i feel like a million, but that would be a lie...  hey, a hundred bucks is pretty decent though!  i have to remind myself even the bad days are good.  561 days sober.