Quit staring at my girlfriend! Aaaah Crash Normal: I first got into these cats by trying to book the first Tyrades Paree show and I realized that one of them lived 50 meters from my former crib...they couldn't play the show and we never met until I realized they were the guys making sooo much noise in a small-ass bar called the Fanfaron where I was trying to get some rest after a long night of lust. I even kicked Vince's ass at a Dirtbombs show once because he was pushing everyone as he danced. He didn't even remember that episode of our common history when I asked them if they would play the "Get Action!" Spits show, so I thought "There's something in the water they're drinking...". Ex-El Caminos, ex-Cheeraks, ex/future-other bands, they emerge from an uncanny musical scene (Strasbourg, near the French/German border, where the sausages are sweet. Expect a Terminal Boredom essay the future about all these wonderful creeps) which will make you dizzy. And they'll steal your drink in the meantime! Everytime some guy asks me at the record store where I work for some new Jon Spencer shit I say "Shut it! And check Crash Normal instead! Et voila!".They've done mucho records on Royal Records, Yakisakana, Byteburger, etc, andadd to that 4 or so full-lenghths here and there. And you thought they were bandwagon jumpers? They're prolific AND lazy, they're cute AND they wear argyle sweaters. Actually, they're way more classy than that, but you gotta see them live just to make sure. They got that sexy thang that gets between your legs when you are not looking. Tastes like liquid crack, or more like rat bubblegum actually. This hopeless email interview was done before their Bassholes show/meeting with Scott "Adonis" Soriano (who was invited to DJ at the show and the 11th TOTALLY WIRED nite by Lili Z and Jack Volt) during his France/Brusells trip...

TB: Well who's who, who plays/does what, and how good/bad you play it?
Vinz: I'm vinz, I play guitar, bass, and make some crappy electronic drums and sounds.
Delph: I'm delph, I sing, I don't know how well, but I like it!
Goldo: I'm goldo, I play guitar and bass, sing, and make similar electronic drums and sounds.

TB: Sounds good. How did you guys meet in the first place? In the swiss Alps during a fondu party?
Goldo: Vinz and I, it's been a while since we've done a fondu party. That day, it was kinda special...some chick was stuck in her karabiner and was screaming like a Swiss goat. Vincent saved her, then she became his girlfriend and she joined the band. THEN some German tourist took a picture of us...(see the "Heavy Listening" back cover )...

TB: Wow...How did you get in touch the infamous Scott Soriano of SS Records?
Goldo: Jack Volt released a Crash Normal 7" on Royal Records. Scott found it and asked him how to get in touch with us. We took a while (five years) to get back to him, but after a few weeks an LP was released in no time.

TB: Yeah...and he likes little boys too...How do French people react to your sound? well at least the Paris people?
Vinz: The crowd is fine I guess, whether it's for our electro unit (with the computer) or our more traditionally "garage" (with the drum kit).
Goldo: The Parisian crowd ain't necessarily different from any other...
Delph: Yeah, but about venues....
Goldo: ...it's better to play in small bars.

TB: How was that show with the Spits? You did a great cover of them ("She don't kare"), and I think they were pissed off real bad, because it was good! And Sean says Vince drinks way too much...
Vinz: The show ended in a snowball fight on the Penich pier!
Goldo: When we do shows it's also to meet people, hence the idea of doing a cover from the band we play with. It helps set the mood...
Delph: Yeah, but I'd hardly do a An Albatross' cover. I really dug The Spits. And there was something perverted (and then delighful) about ripping someone else's song.

TB: Last time you told me you wanted to get closer to the analogic sound, get away from the good ol' computers, get some drums and perhaps a bass. I saw you guys with Seb Normal and it's just great...how does it help you guys?
Goldo: we dont give a fuck about the analog/digital issue. Having a drummer live gives it more realness on stage. When we record, we don't ask ourselves the "live" question. It gives us more freedom and DIY-ness...
Delph: And if we use a bass, for instance, or an organ, or whatever, it'll be for a specific song.

TB: Did you ever get caught shoplifting? If so what was it for? Please don't lie...
Delph: Some food, some linens, essential things!
Vinz: Some salmon, vodka, and an A-HA CD. It was the CD that got me busted by beeping...
Goldo: A WHAM! tape at the Belfort Fnac.

TB: What other fine people/bands have you recently played with?
All: Mr. Quintron, Cool Jerks, Chrome Cranks, Bassholes and the Spits!

TB: What's your favourite drink by the way? Right now I'm drinking Zubrowska.
Delph: My favourite drink is YOUR Zubrowska!
Vinz: Wine.
Goldo: Grappa!

TB: So what's the story behind "Dirty Skirt" anyway? Some link to Kurt Cobain or what?
Goldo: "You've gotta nice wear/ Don't talk about your hair / Believe me when I say your shoes are fonzy too / You've gotta wild feet / Don't talk about your tits / I don't wanna make some trouble when I say / But I can't stand your dirty skirt / I like if I was talking to Kurt"... You can try it with Kurt cobain, Kurt Weill, Kurtney Love...make your own choice!
Vinz: Kurt Douglas.
Delph: steve McKurt.

TB: Which song would you like to have played at your funeral?
Goldo: "Big Joke" - Crash Normal.
Delph: "No Fun" - Stooges.
Vinz: "Big Black Hole" - Oblivians.

TB: Ruby Mars said of the Spits that "their guitars sound like food processors!" Do you think this could be applied to your sound?
Goldo: We really love to blend sounds to bits, but some of our songs might break the device...

TB: What stuff are the band doing right now?
All: We have an LP on Rococo records from LA, called "My First Stop" coming out in September. Then recording 6 or 7 songs ASAP for a 12" maybe on P-Trash Records.

Check out these great links if you dare to want more:
The Crash Normal Website
Goldo Normal's site
Byteburger Records
CHEB SAMIR AND THE BLACK SOULS OF LEVIATHAN (The Crash Normal's amazing drummer for around 6 months who's in dozens of other bands)
Seb Normal Website
Phil Scrotum Productions (Seb Normal)

Interview by Kemp Boyd
Pics provided by the band