Kemp Boyd's Best of 2005

Mmm 2005...While Lastname will complain that he ate too much pizza and not enough pussy, I might just say the contrary. Not as many records as 2004, a few good surprises here and there, too much myspace I guess...I dunno. A quick one for me. Regarding this old country that I am in, it’s been a year of nice confirmations. The relationship between France and the States has never been this good, and great work has been achieved thanks to those stupid bands who can’t do any better than record and play in front of 10 yawning people, those label head honchos swarming in between baaad demos and emptied Pringles cans, those busy library clerks drowning in books, memos and scribbled note sheets, and a bunch of other people too, doing their thing who actually made all this mess possible. Thanks for them. US bands are getting their asses over here more than the classic dumb tour...we have better manners than US arrogant assholes, it's getting truer everyday. And we burn our own houses and cars, which is punk and stupid as fuck isn't it? Also a few citizenship applications are still popping out...we won't be able to please everyone so please be patient. It's worth the wait.

Regarding labels: Shattered Rekids brought a new card to the game with the pre-order thing which opens new heights for poor record production and, I guess, more thrills and sweaty balls for excited/frustrated fans. No need to say it takes tons of buzz to make it happen and to make Paypal richer. Speaking of copies, the limited edition fever has reached insane peaks. For records which sometimes are barely decent...Only time will tell if it’s a good thing or not. Also, I can see now that eastern European pressing plants seem to get their shit together nowadays..good point.

Regardless of what many people said, mp3s have helped records to get known way more than the usual. Although I get records from here and there, mp3s helped me a lot as well and I won’t complain. In those times of hard-to-find-collectible-300-copies edition pieces of wax which are almost out of print the day they come out, its less cyber laziness than actual help...and most of the TB readers do buy real records in the end, so what's the beef?

Mmm I might just write down this again, but look out for a Lamps 7 inch, it’s coming right at us (I can almost smell it from here).

And hey ladies! I think crappy euro blues is weakening. I gotcha back, Steve.

I threw all this real quick so sue me if you need me to develop on whatever, just get the records or go dig the archives and quit being so picky.

-The Busy Signals 7” (Douche Master) - Fuck me this superband is good...and that chick is damn cute too..and i'm not even talking about that superb Eric Cecil...
-Haircuts "Are no Fun" 7" (Sack'O'Shit) - Almost as moronic as the Monitors release, and yet totally mandatory.
-Monitors "Electric Knife" 7" (Fungus Boy) and "Rotten Body..." 7" (Goodbye Boozy) - Flintstones dumbass future punk for those ex-Killawatts who get close to the Spits on those ones. Call me if you can get any mongoloid-er than that...
-Anteenagers MC "Let's Not Have a Party" 7" on (Plastic Idol) - It was about time a US label make justice to such a great band. Very soon in a club in your shittown, killer.
-Dutch Masters 7" (Goner) - Killer cuts from those Memphis fine gents who need no introduction.
-Ponys "Pop Culture" 7" (SSLD) - One of the best Mr Z. 2005 releases, and a great thing to hear from those Chi-town cats after a mild second LP.
-The Worst "Earache" 7" (Big Neck) - Get it now or die, stupid.
-King Automatic "Automatic Ray" LP (Voodoo Rhythm) - An ex-Squares/Thundercrack who goes solo and rips off the best of Devo, Oblivians, Kraftwerk, Lightnin' Hopkins (and i guess a lil' bit o' Quintron)...this is insanely good and unique.
-Black Time "New Vague Themes" 12" (P-Trash) - I knew the songs thru their 2004 demo which was too gay for many labels, while the self-produced 1st LP slowly made his way. Heavy vampire sound through Jean Luc Godard's shades. Wow.
-Human Eye s/t LP (ITR) - When it came out most people shat in their pants, some other turned their back on this. Lets say that mostly I belonged to the first category. Alien punk to the sickest, for us Clone Defects weeping fans...Nicolas Cage loves it too from what I heard...
-Kajun SS Toxic Gumbeaux 12" reish (Jeth Row) - Two gay NOLA expatriate labels join their forces after a chaotic euro tour, a few hospitals stayings, tons of hatred and nonsense, and a hurricane. Having all them songs on one platter makes it so gooood, like huffing zyklon bee...and it has great pics inside!
-The Rebel "Prawns" LP (Junior Aspirin) - While you're waiting for your CT next fix you should get this in the meantime. It shouldn't be any different than what will come out. Which means it will be swelling. And amazing as you may guess.
-Kung Fu Escalator s/t 10" (Yakisakana) - One huge Fatals-like fucked-up band with a huuge "Watching You" cut...Crazings!
-Black Lips "Let it Bloom" LP (ITR)- Flower punk drug-o psyche death cult rock-n-roll at its finest. Those kids grew up and yet they're still snotty as fuck. One mucho anticipated record.
-The Hospitals “Rich People” 12" (Yakisakana) - Wild and demented (yeah, you've heard that before) new cover record in between the two albums. Huge.
-Peripherique Est - "Demos" LP (?) - Killer punk-'77 from Belgium. What a blast!
Oh and also: "Zine:White" 8.5" which made me discover Ladies Night and the fucking Lamps. And re-discover white square records too.

-Country Teasers "Live Album" CD (ITR) - While you thought this would be elusive and another waste of money, this record is fucking great and proves the Teasers are one of the best band around.
-Penetrators "Basement Anthology" CD - Teenage Lifestyle has never been this good!
-Oscars "Techno Primitivo" CD - Great memphis killersound from 2004(?). Can't wait to hear more.
-Imperials CD (Savage) - Might be older than 2005, but god this is as good as the Blacks...
-Sexaphone "August 2005" tape - After a decent first release, Drumaphone and mademoiselle Voxaphone are gonna BLOW you away, Blacktime-like. You heard me.
-Electric Mormons "Motard Lose" CD - Maybe one of the best French punk '77 cut of last year from the now-Flaschen peeps from Nice, Frankreich. Bad lyrics but hey, you guys won't understand shit anyways...naw, it's just really good and this may be released anytime soon.

-Epicycle "Teenage Suicide" LP (Rave Up)
-The Fall "Complete Peel Sessions: 1978-2004" Box (Sanctuary)
Don't be such a boob and buy these!

Look out for in 2006:
- SS Records frenchoid releases ( Cheveu, Frustration...)
- Anything by the Nix
- Anything by Cheveu and Crack Und Ultra Eczema
- The death of the Plastic Letters
- Primitive Calculators reish (on Poutre Apparente Records?)
- Bobby Ubangi Project on Rip Off?
- Gaye Blades
- Sagger LP
- Terrior Bute? Where are they now?!
- Lids' second LP on DSH..(yeah, its recorded)...
- Hot Machines LP
- ITR doing 7 inches again...

Artwork: Meeloo Bongout

Misc: Tiana Lynn back in the game after getting hepatitis C.

Shows (French mostly, no order):
-Cheveu/Dada Swing/Crack und Ultra Eczema No/Yes Wave from all around Europe. All in a tiny arab bar. Violent...L'Armée des Bonbons ( Candy Army ) from Belgium: Kania Tieffer/Coeurvert ( rare GREAT country teasers-like/Rebel/Léo Ferré one man singing in 5 different language over killer tracks on a CD) - Can't wait for his exciting new project band called Jeunesse Fantome...King Automatic/Vibrafingers/Bloodshot Bill, march 05...Black time/Volt, october 05...Clorox Girls/Hospitals, May 05 Adam, Ned, gay Justin and the boys left the club in small pieces...Rebel/Cheveu, may 05 The beauty of nonsense to its climax...Bassholes/Jeff Evans/Crash Normal, march 05 One of the best show of the year, hands down. Just ask Soriano...Kajun SS/Die Rotzz/Anteenagers MC, February 05...Baseball Furies/ Pneumonias/ Four Slicks, april 05...Rip Offs/Zodiac Killers Tons of fun in spite of the obvious fear...Black Lips, in lousy Paris, september 05, plus seeing them opening for the Lyres in Rotterdam, Primitive Fest, july 05 which i've seen a second time. Great times indeed...King Khan BBQ show, june 05 minus Skip Jensen who was to open for them but managed to miss two flights in a day and a half before the show ( yep...he eventually made it 5 months ago with the Demons Claws though).

Once again, get a life and keep it real. Thanks and good night.