Hey fellas, wanna hear about a new band!? Me neither, so lets talk about one that's been circling the block for awhile while we watched them grow up and away. Since you know everything already, you know that this is John Dwyer's current outfit and it fits better than a pair of classic slim-legged Rustlers from your DaDa's closet whilst all the other dudes are stuffing their muffin tops into some tiny-zippered low-waisted girl jeans wandering the desert searching for free ringtones. Folks with their blinders on may think that the band has finally hit their stride, but they just haven't been paying attention to the fertile grass they've been covering. That camp would be doing themselves a favor by checking out the double LP '3 & 4' on Narnack (more on them later) and the two LPs after that. King Factum and the Ickie Buddies saw them in those days, and all of us welled up with tears when they broke out that saw. Calvin Lee Reeder even used their beautiful song in a MOVIE. I guess what I'm fingerpainting here is that they've ALWAYS been good and they've ALWAYS been different. Like JPD has always been. Take a look at Zeigenbock Kopf if you don't believe me, speaking of 'weird punk'. Yeah, I know some of you didn't like the joke, but "a techno version of the Brainbombs"? And this was six years ago. Aaaannnyyway, Thee Oh Sees have released one of the best LPs ever, recorded by the velvet-eared Chris Woodhouse. I recently curled up in John PHILIP (not Paul, I'm sorry) Dwyer's lap and we typed Q's and A's into buttons...

Third vs. starts like the first...

Lars: The tracks...Side A - "Block of Ice"
John: "Block of Ice" was obviously inspired by Red Krayola. We were doing a show with them, and have always loved them. Also Malcolm Mooney from Can. Really a blatant rip off, but bent towards what we are capable of. When we opened with it at the show, they ended up doing "Hurricane Fighter Plane" for like 15 minutes. Pretty rad.

Lars: "Visit Colonel"
John: Had been listening to Adam and the Ants and wanted that sort of stripped guitar/tribal drum pop element. One of my faves to do live.

Lars: "Grease 2"
John: Written to counteract "Grease"...a love song for shitty lovers who lie.

Lars: "Ghost in the Trees"
John: Written from a Yikes song ("Putrifiers"), a song about the psychedelic qualities in night-time nature.

Lars: "Two Drummers Disappear"
John: Written on the spot with extra reel. Inspired by using Chris Woodhouse on second drum kit. Classic garage riff.

Lars: "Graveyard Drug Party"
John: Written from reading the paper every morning and realizing that the people in charge of everything in America are baffling to me. I can't relate so I wrote a song about it ruining my mornings for years now. Also, click-clacks inspired by Pink Floyd's "Scarecrow".

Lars: "The Master's Bedroom..."
John: Written about wanting to ditch somewhere and wanting to take a freind or lover with you. This happens to me often.

Lars: Side B - "Grease"
John: A song about stretches of time hating on everything and feeling it is a losing battle, but in the format of a lovely pop song.

Lars: "Adult Acid"
John: Cocaine.

Lars: "The Coconut"
John: Another one written on the spot from previously rejected song ideas. 'The Coconut' is the slang at practice when you play an idea that is so terrible it's time to pack up for the day.

Lars: "Maria Stacks"
John: Written for Maria Forde about libraries, in trade for a wolfman painting.

Lars: "Poison Finger"
John: Homage to Taj Mahal. A song about a friend who ain't really all that great and the sun.

Lars: "You Will See This Dog Before You Die"
John: My rommate said this non sequitur when he was wasted. A song about the way assholes think and pay back.

Lars: "Quadrospazzed"
John: Chris Morris inspired title (Brass Eye) about the longest walk home...sweet home.

Lars: "Koka Kola"
John: Jingle written for and rejected by Pepsi. I just like Coke better.

Lars: Can you talk about living in San Fransisco? It's one of my favorite cites to imagine moving to, am I wrong? What's your favorite thing about it? What's the worst? Do you think you'll stay forever?
John: SF is the best, I love it and everytime I leave I come back refreshed. I may die here, I guess. Tacos, beach, bikes, hot girls. Movies. Parks. A good home with good friends. What more can I say? Oh yeah, good people to write songs with. Home base. The worst: a bad taco or burrito. Hard to come by, but man when you do...look out.

Lars: How was your last tour?
John: Euro tour was last...was mostly great-to-good. But apparently we may have bankrupted our label, as we never make any fucking money. Money is a hassle and I have come to terms with never having it. The best show was Amsterdam, they danced and we played every song we knew at the time. Old church, nice people...place called Paradiso.

Lars: What was the worst show?
John: Worst show was in Holland...you played there. Open mic style night, but good pay, so whatever.

Lars: Wanna talk about the NRSZ incident at all, or will the pigz Google it? ( NRSZ/Nurses were on tour with the Oh Sees and got stopped at the border going to Vancouver)
John: Nurses got picked up at the Canadian border and spent a lovely five days at a Canadian jail/spa all because they were trying to sneak in to play a hundred dollar show. I guess Canada takes that shit more seriously than you would think. Fuck it, the show was good, but not that good. They are safe and sound now, and stronger for the experience. As Gabe (Nurses guitar and vox) said to me on the phone, "You do the crime, you do the time." Ha, cool guy.

Lars: SXSW, wanna praise or rip on it?
John: SXSW is rad. I always have great time there, my friend Kim Canton and her man are there and I love them. Plus Beerland, Jesus I love that joint!

Lars: Tell me about recording with Woodhouse. How is he so good? How many Diet Pepsis does it take to turn him into the Yoda of Ampex?
John: What can I say? Woodhouse is the master. Anybody talking shit on that recording of our record with him can eat my ass. It's like the dude is in the band for me, and I love his ideas and he puts up with my bullshit and impatience. And he can play shakers and stuff like no other.

Lars: Have you seen Mayyors yet?
John: The Mayyors rule my mind. Better question: have you seen the Mayyors episode of "Forest City Rockers" online yet? No? Check it out.

Lars: What is going on with Patrick Mullins? (P. Mullins was the drummer/percussionist/singing saw player of the ohsees/O.C.S in the earlier more acoustic days)
John: Patrick Mullins now is a baker living in his own apartment in Louisville, Kentucky. He is happy, if not a bit bored maybe. I love him.

Lars: What the fuck is the deal with Narnack Records?
John: Narnack Narnack Narnack. I have no idea what is up with those guys. Apparently they wanna do a DVD with some of my shit on it that they dont own. I asked them nicely not to, and Shahin (label owner) told me he would kick my ass. No, just kidding, he said he would cough AIDS all over me and then I would be his minion. No, really, I have no idea. I am sure the whole Narnack family is fine. I wonder, now that Bo Diddley has died if they still plan on putting out the "Great Lost Bo Diddley" recording that he would speed babble about and exhume the corpse and have it sign this thirty page contract. I digress. RIP Bo Diddley.

Lars: What's are the three best shows you've seen?
John: Recently I saw Singer. Amazing. Way back in the day 400 Blows played in my bedroom, that was pretty sweet. Also, recently had my mind blown by new SF sensations The Fresh and Onlys, so fucking great. Youtube it.

Lars: What's your take on smoking?
John: I love smoking but I think they are disgusting shit sticks. I can only kiss other smokers or else they will taste tart death on my breath.

Lars: This question may be boring, and I dont' mean for a full history if you don't want cause people can look that up, but can you tell me about the evolution of the band to now? Didn't you 'steal' Brigid from another band?
John: The band has gone through so many people just trying to be what it is now. I am here, if you don't like this then you will never like what I do. And no, technically we didn't steal Brigid from another band. We have brought her into our coven and ruined her life. We actually met on a reservation.

Lars: What does this lineup bring to it? List everyones strengths and weaknesses individually!
John: Petey Dammit = great guitar and mind, terrible handshake. Michael Shone "The Skank Whisperer" = great drummer, funny man, terrible case of Robin Williams-itis. Brigid Dawson = there ain't nothing wrong with that woman. John Dwyer = terrible shit talker, lactose intolerant, insufferable assshole.

Lars: What happend to Yikes?
John: Yikes just made friends not like each other as much, so we stopped. Now we go out for dinner and drinks.

Lars: What is your take on the Sic Alps?
John: The Sic Alps are the greatest band to ever walk the earth and I hate them for it.

Lars: What do you do for work?
John: I work at a terrible hip-hop club called Club 6 in San Francisco. I also do construction and pick up paint jobs and sell some art occasionally. I have a show at Queens Nails Annex in July. BOOM!

Lars: What band is the biggest bunch of dicks you've ever come across?
John: Tough one...Rock and Roll Soldiers were a bunch of twats I seem to remember stinking up the stage at an old Coachwhips show.

Lars: What's some of your favorite new bands?
John: Good new stuff: Ty Segall and The Traditonal Fools, Fresh and Onlys, The Dodos, The Tea Elles. I could go on and on...

Lars: What happened with Zeigenbock Kopf? What happend to 'Fuck You To Dust'? I think that's the best one! I think the best quote ever is "God stepped in and said this is retarded"!
John: ZK died right in time before I was lynched by thin-skinned people, some of which were my freinds. 'Fuck You to Dust' was the best one. Too much speed, not enough balls.

Lars: What would your dream tour be? Including complete bullshit like Archie Shepp and the Shaggs or something...
John: I would love to tour with the Sic Alps and Ty Segall later this fall...oh wait! I am. Sweeeet.

Lars: How big of a pain in the ass is doing your own label (Castle Face)?
John: I am terrible at running a label or else I would put out something that made money.

END INTERVIEW

DISCOGRAPHY
's/t'/'1' 2CD (Tumult)
'2' CD (Narnack)
'3' LP (Yik Yak)
'3/4' 2CD (Narnack)
'Grave Blockers EP' 6" single/3" CDR (Rock is Hell)
'The Cool Death of Island Raiders' LP/CD (Narnack)
'Sucks Blood' LP/CD (Castle Face)
'OCS vs. Caroliner - at Aquarius Records' LP (Narnack)
'The Masters Bedroom Is Worth Spending A Night In' LP/CD (Castle Face/Tomlab)
'The Hounds of Foggy Notion' CD/DVD (Castle Face)(upcoming)

Thee Oh Sees on the web.